HELLO , WELCOME to the PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE



If you are obsessive-compulsive , please press 1
repeatedly


If you are co-dependent , please ask someone to press 2


If you have multiple personalities , please press 3, 4,
5, and 6


If you are paranoid-delusional , we know who you are and
what you want
Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.


If you are schizophrenic , listen carefully and a little
voice will tell you which number to
press.


If you are manic-depressive , it doesn't matter which
number you press.
No one will answer.





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