"My Son the Doctor"
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.TraditionOfKindness.org

While hosting a cousin's club meeting at our house, my mother was eager to show off her son who had just received his M.D. degree. She had him come into the room and take everyone's blood pressure and listen to their hearts.

After doing this for a few people my brother turned to one cousin and asked if he had a heart condition. The cousin said no. My brother had detected some heart defect and urged the man to contact a cardiologist, and wrote down the name and number of one.

This seemingly casual encounter on the part of a proud mother saved this man's life; he went to the cardiologist and found out that he indeed had a heart condition that was able to be addressed.

Not only was this a situation of there being a reason my brother was there that evening but it also reflected honoring one’s parents, with quite a satisfactory conclusion.

Imagine if my brother had protested being shown off!


"Don’t Condescend"
From: Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By: Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press

Have a deep sense of respect for anyone you help. The people you help are helping you fulfill your life’s mission. Be grateful to them. Be especially careful not to speak or act condescendingly when you try to help someone. The good you do can be offset by the damage caused by the condescension.

My students related the following stories to me:

I have been having financial difficulties. Some people have lent me money in such a way that I felt they believed in me and trusted me. Others have refused politely. I respect the way they have done so. Some people have refused to help me and they’ve done so by questioning my honesty and integrity. I can’t describe the anguish they caused me. Yet others have helped me out, but did so in ways that made me feel inferior. Everything about their verbal and nonverbal communication has given me the feeling they look down at me. If I hadn’t been desperate for financial help, I would have refused to borrow their money.

When I need to ask people for information, some answer me in a manner and tone of voice that says loud and clear, "I consider you dumb and stupid." They probably don’t realize how much they hurt me. In contrast I’ve met brilliant scholars who have made me feel important and valuable regardless of how simple my question was.

I encountered someone recently who said to me, "I remember how inferior and inadequate you used to feel. You’re fortunate for having met me. I made you into what you are today." He seemed to have a strong interest in putting me down to feel good about himself.

I needed private lessons to catch up on what I didn’t understand. Someone offered to teach me. I was apprehensive because of negative experiences I’ve had in the past when people have taught me privately. But the way this person spoke to me gave me the feeling that he had a basic respect for the dignity of each person he taught. He told me that he too had many areas that were difficult for him, while others had much more of a natural skill in those areas.

"And furthermore," he said, "our brain is a total gift. Not one of us did anything to create our own brain. Even the biggest genius can end up with his brain ceasing to function. I’m grateful for the way my brain operates, and I have an obligation to help others with the resources that I’ve been given."

He emphasized that I had emotional intelligence and a spiritual goodness. He made me feel so good about myself that my mind was open and clear. I gained more from him than anyone I’ve studied with before.

I heard the story of a person who wanted to give money to a street beggar. This beggar sold a few pencils to create the illusion that he was selling something and not asking for a free handout. Most people who gave money just dropped their coins in his can. But one man carefully inspected the pencils and took the one that looked the best.

"I’ll buy this one," he said to the man on the street, looking him straight in the eye while he nodded his head in respect and gave him a smile. From then on the erstwhile beggar had a greater degree of self-respect and started a real business. I am reminded of this story whenever someone asks me for a personal donation. I would love for my respect to help others attain greater dignity and self-respect.

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