KIND WORDS
The Power Of "What?"

"Cookies that Care"
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.TraditionOfKindness.org

I have been sharing your "Daily Dose of Kindness" e-mails with my children for the last few weeks. I have noticed a definite attitude change in myself and as well as in my children.

I am most proud of my 15-year old daughter who decided after the tsunami that she had to do something to help the survivors. On a weekly basis she bakes a double batch of homemade cookies and sells them in school. She has been averaging $40 a week from these "Cookies that Care." She donates the entire proceeds to various nonprofit organizations.

My husband and I are delighted to donate the cost of supplies for such a worthy cause. My daughter has shared this idea with camp friends and "Cookies that Care" are being sold in high schools in two different cities and in two countries.

Please let your readers take this idea and spread it to other schools around the world. Please have them contact my daughter if they would like any further information at:
bakermomma11@...


The Power Of "What?"
From: Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By: Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press

Utilize the power of the "What?" tool:

* "What can I do for you?"

* "What do you really want?" (Said in a tone that conveys the message: "I want to meet your real needs.")

* "What do you need to make that happen?"

* "What inner resources that you already have would enable you to accomplish more?"

* "What changes would you like?"

Repeat these five questions until they become automatic for you. The best way to repeat them often enough is to ask them frequently to others who would appreciate them.

A previous section dealt with the power of "Why?" questions. There are many instances when "What?" questions are much more preferable. At times, "Why?" questions will get people even more stuck than they were before. "What?" questions can shed light on what needs to be done to improve a person and solve a situation.

For example, "Why are you the way you are?" and, "Why do you have this fault?" can bolster the strength of limitations and faults. Compare that with asking:

• "What can you do to improve?"

• "What would motivate you to overcome that fault?"

• "What thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs would improve the emotional quality of your life and enable you to experience more joy?"

• "What actions can you take that would help you make the changes that you would want?"

• "What strengths would you need to create new and better patterns of behavior?"

Advocates of using more "What?" questions than, "Why?" questions have calculated that it can take as much time to answer a "What can be done now?" as it would to answer a, "Why am I limited or stuck?" Even after you know why you are as deficient as you are, you still need to do something about it. So if a "What?" question will do the job, it’s not a worthwhile investment to spend too long a time on the "Why?" At times, only by knowing why something is the way it is will we be able to figure out what we need to do now. Then, of course, it’s imperative to answer the "Why?" question before trying to solve the issue of, "What should I do now?"

Some people spend months and months, even years trying to understand why they are the way they are. They use this as an excuse for not changing. "I’m the same as I always was," they proudly say, "But now I know why I am the way I am."

The "What?" question to keep foremost in our mind is: "What can I do for this person?" You might not always come up with an immediate answer. But being on the lookout for what you can do will inevitably enable you to find things that you wouldn’t have noticed or realized without having asked this question.

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