KIND WORDS
Emotional States Are Contagious

"Two Broken Legs, But Lots of Healthy Hearts"
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.PartnersInKindness.org

While riding my bicycle this summer, I was hit by a pick-up truck. Both of my legs were broken, one seriously enough that it needed surgery and pins. I live alone, and because I was unable to put any weight on my leg for six weeks, I couldn't drive.

My friends were absolutely wonderful. The hospital wanted to send me to a nursing home for a couple of weeks, but instead friends stayed with me at my house for the first week, then other friends came over for the next few weeks - cooking, cleaning, shopping, bringing videos, keeping me company, getting me out of the house, and generally brightening my life.

I think that it may have been one of the happiest times of my life, even though I was couch-bound and in pain. I have never felt so loved and I now truly understand how blessed I am to have such wonderful friends. I can never thank them enough for the joy they brought into my life at a time when things could have appeared bleak.

Emotional States Are Contagious
From: Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By: Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press

Whatever emotional state you are in will have an effect on the people you encounter. The best way to spread joy is to be joyous yourself. The best way to spread compassion and kindness is to be in a compassionate state yourself. The best way to spread serenity is to be in a serene state yourself.

Just after writing the above paragraph, as I was on my way to deliver a lecture, I encountered two people who were in very different states. One was highly agitated. He was begging for money and it was clear that he had serious emotional difficulties. I was very aware of how this person’s agitation had an effect on my state. Within two minutes, I encountered someone who was in an entirely different state. This person’s oldest brother was getting married the next day. He was in a happy emotional state, looking forward to the joyous wedding. I walked away in a state of celebration. Both encounters lasted about a minute and both strongly affected my own state.

Mastering your own ability to access your best emotional states at will enables you to have a positive effect on others. Even if you have what would be considered a difficult encounter with others, when you remain calm and clear thinking your state will begin to calm them even before the content of what you say will reach them.

In my book, Happiness, I have dealt with how to gain greater mastery of one’s states. In general, the more practice you have of accessing states at will, the easier it will be for you to access your best states even in complex, difficult, and potentially hostile situations. The states of being centered and balanced, serene and compassionate will enable you to interact with others at your best. Keep practicing your ability to remember times and moments when you were in these states. Keep learning from role models who are in these states to see and hear what they look and sound like. Practicing in front of a mirror will give you feedback as to how you look when you are in your different states. This makes it easier for you to transform your states by changing your facial expressions and body language.

As you master your own emotional states, eventually your very presence will be an act of kindness. When people are around you, they will feel more joyous, more serene, and will feel better about themselves in general.

One of my students told me this story:

I had a teacher who radiated such positive feelings about life and other people that as soon as he walked into our classroom, we all felt that we were in the presence of a special light. He himself had a difficult life, but one would never know it. When you spoke to him, you were the total focus of his attention, and you felt uplifted and inspired. My goal was to emulate him.

I remember the first time someone said to me, "I feel so much better about myself as soon as I begin to talk to you." This person’s feedback was extremely helpful to show me that I was on the right track. I’m not always in the state that I wish to be in. I am resolved to gain greater mastery of my own states because of the good that this can do for others.

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