"Not Just Extraordinary Acts of Kindness"
The authors wish to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.PartnersInKindness.org

Although our "Kind Words" stories are usually about extraordinary acts of kindness, today’s e-mail is a compilation of many stories we have received over the past four years about ordinary acts of kindness – the types of good deeds we can do every day:

* I have a friend who does so much for so many. She is always the first to offer her home and incredible culinary talents for various events or gatherings of our friends. I always wished that there were something I could do for her.

The only need I could detect was that she and her husband couldn't go out as often as they might like because of the babysitting dilemma. They belonged to a babysitting co-op -- whenever someone babysat for her, she then returned the favor.

Her children don't know me very well, so I wasn't a good choice for babysitter. However, I realized that most babysitters spend about two hours playing with the kids and three hours just sitting there while the kids sleep. So when I heard that she was going out on a particular night, I told her that I was available to babysit after 8:30 if she wanted me to relieve her co-op babysitter.

That's what we did and she was THRILLED.

* Members from our recovery group decided to help prepare and serve lunch at the local soup kitchen once a month. It has been so rewarding. It gives us an opportunity to be part of something outside ourselves. Many of the clients thank us and bless us. It truly is a lesson in gratitude.

* I do an act of kindness often because of the program I volunteer for. I was matched up to a cancer patient through an organization called chemo-Angels (http://www.chemoangels.com). All I have to do is agree to write to this person at least one or two times a week while they go through chemo-therapy.

It is the best feeling to know that I am making this person smile a few times a week, when otherwise they would not be smiling at all.

* A couple of weeks ago I had to take my husband to the emergency room, since his doctor recognized symptoms of a probable stroke.

While we were awaiting test results, I was crocheting as I often do. The nurse who was treating my husband brought a couple of other nurses by to see the afghan I was making. One of them expressed particular interest because she also crochets and she asked me for the pattern.

When I discovered that I didn't have it with me, I got her name and address so I could send it to her. It turned out that my husband got admitted to the hospital. When I came to visit him the next day I brought the pattern book with me and stopped in to visit the nurse in the emergency room so she could copy it.

It was so nice to be able to do something so simple to give pleasure to someone who does so much for others all the time.

* Like everyone else, we get spiders in our house, and pretty much all of them are harmless -- except for the fact, of course, that they scare the heck out of my twelve year old daughter.

The way we rid our house of flying and crawling insects, when we can, is by slapping a drinking glass over them while they are on the wall, putting a piece of cardboard under the glass to capture them, and then we carry them outside and release them.

It seems like almost every night a spider gets into my daughter's room somehow. So, rather than having to run around looking for a suitable glass and piece of cardboard, we put together a "Spider Rescue and Relocation Kit" -- a paper plate and a tumbler, which she keeps in her room for whenever it is needed.

* I was at the grocery store on a sunny afternoon; I was waiting in a very long line. The woman in front of me had a very hyperactive child on her hands. She had groceries on the bottom of her cart towards the back. She struggled to reach the groceries as he child distracted her.

Since I was closer to the back of her cart I picked up the groceries and put them on the conveyor belt for her. When she said "thank you," I could tell it really helped her out a lot. This kind act made me feel great.

"What Stops You?"
From: Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By: Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press

What Stops You?

"What stops you?" This is a valuable question to ask yourself and to ask others.

"What stops you from doing more for others?" If the answer is that you are already at your limits of resources of time, money, and energy, that means you are willing to do more as soon as you have greater resources. If, however, the answer is laziness, a need for comfort, selfishness, not caring enough about others, or not even thinking about the issue, you will now have a sense of direction for what you need to do to become more of a giver. When you ask this of yourself, you might prefer the wording, "What stops me from doing more?"

"What stops you?" Pose this question to others who would like to do more than they are presently doing in any area of their lives. There might be major obstacles that are blocking them from doing more or there might be minor obstacles. Being clear about the exact nature of the obstacles is a major step in overcoming them. Often, people don’t think about the exact nature of what stops them. They just know that they don’t, won’t, or can’t do something. Now that they think about the specifics of what stops them they will find it easier to find ways around, over, and under those obstacles.

If a person is stopped from doing positive things because of a lack of knowledge and information, help them get that information. You might have that information yourself. If not, you might know who can be consulted. You might know of books or pamphlets that supply the necessary information, or you can suggest ways to acquire those books.

If a person is stopped because of fear or anxiety, you might be able to alleviate that fear by showing the person that things will be much easier than he thinks. You might have had the same types of fears and overcame them. You might be able to give the person so much encouragement that he now will have the confidence and courage to do what he was hesitant to do before. Ask him how he overcame past fears. Ask him about times he was afraid to try something and when he actually tried to do it the fears vanished. Asked him how he coped with difficulties in the past. Show him that he will benefit so much with what you are suggesting that it’s worthwhile facing those fears head on and not let them get in the way.

If a person is stopped from doing more for others because of self-centeredness, explain how the good that one does for others is the greatest good that one can do for oneself.

A student told the author the following story:

I wanted to continue my studies but because of financial pressures I felt unable to. A friend of mine tried to convince me that it would be in my best interests to start a study program. To me this seemed overwhelming and I meekly responded with an, "I can’t."

"What stops you?" my friend asked me. I told him a number of reasons. Once he heard the specific objections, he showed me how I could overcome each obstacle.

This general pattern of calmly finding the objections and dealing with them has made his life immensely successful. I am just one of the many people whose lives he has helped make more meaningful.

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