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KIND WORDS
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.TraditionOfKindness.org
My daughter was in Israel and I didn't think it necessary to send a thirteen-year old with a cell phone. A phone card would suffice.
She found herself in the middle of a Gush Katif, Gaza demonstration and was completely overwhelmed and shaken up, She had never seen anything like this kind of thing. Our brethren in Israel get very involved in their activities, and burning trash cans was something that frightened my daughter terribly.
She had her phone card but couldn't move for all the thousands of people around her.
Unable to control her emotions, she burst, and started crying. A very kind young man asked what was wrong, and she told him she wanted to call someone to pick her up, but she couldn't get to a phone.
He took out his cell phone and let her use it. He even let her call me here in the US.
I was so grateful that he was there at the right time and in the right place.
I talked to her, calmed her down and she was able to get out of the throng and go back to her friends.
A message to everyone, all over the world.
SOME PEOPLE DON'T HAVE CELL PHONES. PLEASE DO AN ACT OF KINDNESS AND LEND YOUR CELL PHONE TO SOMEONE IN NEED, ESPECIALLY A CHILD
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
Our facial expressions and body language convey messages. When we are intensely joyous, enthusiastic, or excited, we convey a very different message than when we are overwhelmed, sad, or angry. When we feel these emotions strongly, the messages are easy to read by anyone who has even a minimal knowledge of how people on planet earth react. There are unlimited nuances in the middle that leave considerable room for error.
Develop an expertise for noticing the facial expressions and body language of those who need help. These external forms of communication serve as announcements that tell us, "I am in distress. Please help me." Notice the look of confusion, fear, sadness, anxiety, and of being lost. Whenever possible, react with the question, "Is there anything I can do to help you?"
Don’t take things at face value. Some people don’t like to bother others or to feel that they can’t do everything on their own. They might say, "Everything is all right." Their facial expression and body language will tell you if everything is really all right or not. Some people will be relieved and grateful if you insist on helping them even though they said they don’t need your help. Others will really not want your help. Be respectful of their right not to accept help when you feel that a situation is not one of danger to their well being. When someone’s health is in danger, even if they tell you that they are all right and don’t need medical attention, if their demeanor says otherwise insist on getting them the proper health care.
Be aware of your own facial expression and body language when someone asks you for help or assistance. When you are sincerely happy to help someone, your face and tone of voice will give a congruent message when you say, "I’ll be happy to help you." If you really are annoyed, your face, tone of voice, or body language will deliver an incongruent message. If you became aware of this, you can use this as feedback that you still need to increase your love for doing acts of kindness.
You will be of greater help to people by pointing out ways they could confer friendlier and more confident non-verbal messages with their face and posture. One way to do this with one who is open to listening to you is to ask him to describe how he feels when joyous, enthusiastic, or confident. Then have him sit, stand, and walk in ways that give off positive messages about his self-image and state. This is especially valuable for a person who has an important interview with someone he has never met before. Have him actually feel the joy or confidence and then the body language will be an expression of his inner state. If someone finds this difficult to do, then starting with the facial expression and body language could be an effective beginning.
A story from one of the author’s students illustrates this point:
I went to the head of personnel in a large organization and told him that I was seeking a job. "Perhaps you have an opening for me?" Instead of making an offer, he told me to speak to that organization’s counselor. He didn’t tell me why I should speak to him. When I told the counselor that I was told by the C.E.O. to speak to him, he smiled and didn’t ask me why. The way he spoke to me and looked at me, I could feel his warmth and concern. He told me that my way of speaking and body language are an expression of lack of confidence and lack of a positive self-image. I replied that I personally felt that my self-image was in order. I totally believed in myself and my abilities.
"Then it’s just a matter of changing the way you talk, walk, stand, and sit," he said to me with total confidence in my ability to improve in these areas relatively quickly.
He mirrored me to show me how I looked and sounded. I hadn’t realized how insecure and unconfident I appeared to others. He then modeled the look and sound of confidence. I practiced with him. We went outside and we went over to complete strangers and spoke to them with complete confidence. He then introduced me to other members of the organization in a way that made me feel great about myself. I saw that when I modeled him, people reacted towards me in a way that reflected my new way of being. I have kept this up over time. It was unbelievable to me how changing my posture, facial expression, and tone of voice effected such a transformation in my own feelings and in other people’s perception of me.
Although the content of these e-mails contains copyrighted material, Partners in Kindness allows users who register at our website to reprint them in print, on a website, or on an e-mail distribution list at no cost.
If you have permission to reprint this e-mail, please ensure that you reprint the entire e-mail (including this notice).
Kindness is like music, art, sports or any other discipline -- it can only be mastered with practice, training, and lots and lots of encouragement. That is what PartnersInKindness.org is trying to promote.
For further information, please visit our Website http://www.PartnersInKindness.org
e-mail: info@...
Reading Body Language
"Reach Out and Help Someone"
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.TraditionOfKindness.org
My daughter was in Israel and I didn't think it necessary to send a thirteen-year old with a cell phone. A phone card would suffice.
She found herself in the middle of a Gush Katif, Gaza demonstration and was completely overwhelmed and shaken up, She had never seen anything like this kind of thing. Our brethren in Israel get very involved in their activities, and burning trash cans was something that frightened my daughter terribly.
She had her phone card but couldn't move for all the thousands of people around her.
Unable to control her emotions, she burst, and started crying. A very kind young man asked what was wrong, and she told him she wanted to call someone to pick her up, but she couldn't get to a phone.
He took out his cell phone and let her use it. He even let her call me here in the US.
I was so grateful that he was there at the right time and in the right place.
I talked to her, calmed her down and she was able to get out of the throng and go back to her friends.
A message to everyone, all over the world.
SOME PEOPLE DON'T HAVE CELL PHONES. PLEASE DO AN ACT OF KINDNESS AND LEND YOUR CELL PHONE TO SOMEONE IN NEED, ESPECIALLY A CHILD
. _____________________________________________________________________________
"Reading Body Language"
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
Our facial expressions and body language convey messages. When we are intensely joyous, enthusiastic, or excited, we convey a very different message than when we are overwhelmed, sad, or angry. When we feel these emotions strongly, the messages are easy to read by anyone who has even a minimal knowledge of how people on planet earth react. There are unlimited nuances in the middle that leave considerable room for error.
Develop an expertise for noticing the facial expressions and body language of those who need help. These external forms of communication serve as announcements that tell us, "I am in distress. Please help me." Notice the look of confusion, fear, sadness, anxiety, and of being lost. Whenever possible, react with the question, "Is there anything I can do to help you?"
Don’t take things at face value. Some people don’t like to bother others or to feel that they can’t do everything on their own. They might say, "Everything is all right." Their facial expression and body language will tell you if everything is really all right or not. Some people will be relieved and grateful if you insist on helping them even though they said they don’t need your help. Others will really not want your help. Be respectful of their right not to accept help when you feel that a situation is not one of danger to their well being. When someone’s health is in danger, even if they tell you that they are all right and don’t need medical attention, if their demeanor says otherwise insist on getting them the proper health care.
Be aware of your own facial expression and body language when someone asks you for help or assistance. When you are sincerely happy to help someone, your face and tone of voice will give a congruent message when you say, "I’ll be happy to help you." If you really are annoyed, your face, tone of voice, or body language will deliver an incongruent message. If you became aware of this, you can use this as feedback that you still need to increase your love for doing acts of kindness.
You will be of greater help to people by pointing out ways they could confer friendlier and more confident non-verbal messages with their face and posture. One way to do this with one who is open to listening to you is to ask him to describe how he feels when joyous, enthusiastic, or confident. Then have him sit, stand, and walk in ways that give off positive messages about his self-image and state. This is especially valuable for a person who has an important interview with someone he has never met before. Have him actually feel the joy or confidence and then the body language will be an expression of his inner state. If someone finds this difficult to do, then starting with the facial expression and body language could be an effective beginning.
A story from one of the author’s students illustrates this point:
I went to the head of personnel in a large organization and told him that I was seeking a job. "Perhaps you have an opening for me?" Instead of making an offer, he told me to speak to that organization’s counselor. He didn’t tell me why I should speak to him. When I told the counselor that I was told by the C.E.O. to speak to him, he smiled and didn’t ask me why. The way he spoke to me and looked at me, I could feel his warmth and concern. He told me that my way of speaking and body language are an expression of lack of confidence and lack of a positive self-image. I replied that I personally felt that my self-image was in order. I totally believed in myself and my abilities.
"Then it’s just a matter of changing the way you talk, walk, stand, and sit," he said to me with total confidence in my ability to improve in these areas relatively quickly.
He mirrored me to show me how I looked and sounded. I hadn’t realized how insecure and unconfident I appeared to others. He then modeled the look and sound of confidence. I practiced with him. We went outside and we went over to complete strangers and spoke to them with complete confidence. He then introduced me to other members of the organization in a way that made me feel great about myself. I saw that when I modeled him, people reacted towards me in a way that reflected my new way of being. I have kept this up over time. It was unbelievable to me how changing my posture, facial expression, and tone of voice effected such a transformation in my own feelings and in other people’s perception of me.
. _____________________________________________________________________________
Kind Words
is a free weekly e-mail distributed by Partners In Kindness.Although the content of these e-mails contains copyrighted material, Partners in Kindness allows users who register at our website to reprint them in print, on a website, or on an e-mail distribution list at no cost.
If you have permission to reprint this e-mail, please ensure that you reprint the entire e-mail (including this notice).
Kindness is like music, art, sports or any other discipline -- it can only be mastered with practice, training, and lots and lots of encouragement. That is what PartnersInKindness.org is trying to promote.
The archive for Kind Words e-mails is located at:
For further information, please visit our Website http://www.PartnersInKindness.org
e-mail: info@...
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