"The Road to Kindness"
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum

I was out walking for exercise, and passed a woman standing in the road, hoping to catch a ride from a passing car.

 

Car after car passed, but no one stopped. I smiled and said hello, and she began to complain to me how people are so busy worrying about their own problems that they don't think to stop to help someone.

 

I sympathized with her, and expressed my hope that a kind person would stop. I wished that instead of walking I was driving so that I could give her a ride. All I could think of to do was to tell her that I hope and pray the next car will stop for her.

 

As I walked away, another car came by, and did indeed stop for her. Chances are, the car would have stopped anyway, without my good wishes. But I smiled at the thought of having the opportunity to sharpen my consciousness to always hope and pray for good things for other people. It was probably a better exercise than the walking!

There is a well-known story about two friends who hadn’t seen each other for over twenty years. They were excited about finally meeting again. They had much news to share and great memories to reminisce about. The one whose city they met in went into a store to make a purchase.

"Good morning, Joe," he said cheerfully to the owner of the store. "I hope that you have a wonderful and great day."

The owner of the store just grunted.

After paying for what he had bought, he once again blessed the store owner, "Have a fantastic day, Joe. And may you be successful beyond your wildest imagination."

Again, the owner of the store just grunted.

"He must be in a bad mood today," the visiting friend commented.

"Why do you think so?" his friend asked.

"Because of the way that he responded to your cheerful blessings."

"Oh, this is the way that he always responds. I’ve been buying things here for years."

"Then why are you so friendly towards him?" the visiting friend asked.

"I wish this person well. But I don’t want him to be my teacher when it comes to greeting people."

Some people have a real fear. They never want to be taken advantage of. And it’s definitely appropriate to be careful not to be cheated or deceived. The Sages’ definition of being taken advantage of is when people ask you to do something that they could really do themselves, but they are lazy and want comfort. Our obligation is only to help someone who is carrying a load that he can’t manage on his own.

When you are kind to someone who is not kind to you, you are not being taken advantage of. You are acting in an elevated manner. This is where the Biblical prohibition against taking revenge and bearing a grudge applies. Suppose your neighbor never lends you anything of his. If he needs to borrow something that belongs to you, it is forbidden to refuse to lend it to him. He is not supposed to be your role model of a kind person. Perhaps if you are consistently kind to him, you will eventually influence him to become a kinder person himself. But even if he never changes, your being kind is what you need to accomplish your mission in this world. And the more difficult it is, the greater is your kind act.

Since being kind to someone who fails to be kind to you can be a great challenge, mentally prepare yourself to pass this test of being a truly kind person. Visualize yourself being asked for a loan or other favor by someone who consistently refuses to lend you anything. Vividly picture yourself being joyous as you lend this person what he needs. Run this over and over again in your mind until you feel that you will be able to carry this out when the opportunity arises.

To Subscribe and visit our archives, go to:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Potentiel_de_Bonte/ (French)

http://espanol.groups.yahoo.com/group/LapracticadelaBondad/ (Spanish)

http://br.groups.yahoo.com/group/ParceirosNaBondade/ (Portuguese)

If you or your school would like to translate our e-mails into other languages, send an e-mail to: