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KIND WORDS
Better To Try And Fail Than Not To Attempt At AllThe author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.TraditionOfKindness.org
My husband and I read in Chicken Soup for the Soul about a man who "returned" a loan by passing it on to help someone else in need. My husband and I have given a few loans like this. It's much easier for someone to accept a loan of money knowing that whenever he is able (in ten or twenty years or more) he can repay it by passing it on to someone else in need.
Two families that we were able to help in this way were evacuated from Gush Katif. Before the evacuation, both couples had jobs and lived comfortably. After the Jewish Transfer, they neither had homes, nor jobs, nor means to pay for basic needs.
We hope we were able to help these proud families and also give them hope that one day they too will be on the "giving" end and able to lend to someone else in need.
A student of my husband's was depressed and was told by his doctor to start regular exercise – preferably swimming. Since this 19-year old did not know how to swim it just added to his frustration.
We loaned him money to take swimming lessons and to regularly exercise. The terms of the loan are as described above. He would never have accepted charity. But he accepted this type of loan, which never has to be paid back, unless he's able and is on the way to recovery.
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" Better To Try And Fail Than Not To Attempt At All "
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
When we feel certain that we will succeed, we feel motivated to take action. When we feel absolutely certain that we can do nothing about a situation, we don’t try. Why try to do something that is impossible? The challenge is to take action when we aren’t certain whether or not we will succeed.
Some people hesitate to take action because they are afraid that they might fail. And if they fail, they might view themselves as failures. Not what our egos want!
But when you try to help someone and sincerely do what you can, you are successful even if what you try to do does not work out the way you would have wished. The act of trying is a magnificent accomplishment.
When someone sees that you are trying to help him, he feels pleasure that there is someone who cares enough about him to try. He is not alone. He has you.
You might think that your efforts have not been fruitful, but you can never know. You might try to encourage someone to believe in himself and his strengths. He fights you tooth and nail. He raises every argument in the book explaining why he can’t believe in himself. He defends his right to a lack of self-esteem and a low self-image. What you said to him might have seemed to go in one ear and right out the other one. But the reality is that what you said might have lain dormant for a long time. Then one day, presto! Your words hit home. He recalls your belief in him and he begins to believe in himself. The only way to guarantee failure is to refrain from trying. When you do make an effort to be kind, your kind words and actions might set off a chain reaction. You lift this person a tiny bit. And now he has the energy to go much further than you would have believed.
Consider these stories, which I heard from my students:
A doctor pronounced an unconscious patient dead. A motivated friend of that person refused to give up. He had someone work on artificial respiration until an ambulance arrived to take the person to a hospital. At the same time, he asked all those nearby to pray for the recovery of this person. When the patient had a seemingly miraculous recovery, the doctor stated how this has given him the total resolve to keep on trying in the future beyond what he had been doing until that point.
The learning disabled student had given up on ever being a scholar. So had most of his teachers. One even said, "Your chances of being a scholar are less than the chances of hair growing on the palm of my hand." One compassionate teacher, however, refused to give up. He repeated each idea scores of times. His student flourished to the astonishment of everyone who had tried to teach him before.
A friend suggested that I exercise for my health. He repeated this many times and while I agreed I should, I did nothing about it. Finally, one day I said, "All right. I’ll start." I am grateful for this person’s persisting that I guard my health. Every repetition was part of the conditioning that eventually had a practical effect.
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