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How Have You Solved This In The Past?
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.PartnersInKindness.org
Last week I had an operation. The main nurse showed me my bed and I felt upset because I was all alone. I looked out the window and thought to myself "how can I get through the operation and recover afterwards?"
As I was thinking this, a young woman came next to my bed and said: "Hello, my name is Korina and I'm from Eylon Moreh." She too needed an operation.
We two had a great time; we went to drink our last cappuccino before the fast. Then after the operation we felt dizzy and ached, but were together and exchanged experiences.
Korina, who left her seven children to come to the hospital for her operation, helped me to develop more faith in G-d even in bad times. I thank her for this.
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How Have You Solved This In The Past?
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
Many people who have specific problems have already solved similar problems in the past. When they are stuck in the problem, they are not in touch with how their previous actions can be utilized to solve it. You have a user-friendly tool to help them remember what they have already done before.
When someone is stuck in an unresourceful groove, he is not likely to recall how he accessed and created more resourceful states in the past. You can ask, "Right now scan your entire life history and answer this question, ‘What have you done in the past to access the state you wish to be in now?’" Or you can ask, "When have you felt this way before? What enabled you to overcome those feelings?"
If someone is having a difficult time interacting with a specific person, you can ask, "When have you interacted well with this person? What did you do then?" Or you can ask, "Think of a similar person with whom with you have interacted well. What was your approach?"
If someone is in a slump in any area of their life, you can ask, "What have you done to overcome previous slumps?"
There will surely be new problems and new situations that this person has never before dealt with. Also, solutions that previously proved effective might not work now. But this is the easiest way to start.
Someone may have suffered from depression in the past, and is currently feeling depressed again. This state is not conducive to clear thinking. Whenever he experienced these feelings, he felt much better after three miles run and doing an act of kindness that was special. The exercise cleared his mind and he could think about ways to solve the issues that were weighing on him. The acts of kindness made him feel better about himself. The question, "What have you done in the past to feel better?" will remind him of the benefits of his exercising and his acts of kindness. Another friend might have spoken with a specific counselor who was very helpful. At this stressful manner, he does not recall this. Your asking, "What has helped you before?" will remind him how much he benefited.
A friend of yours might usually be very creative. His creativity is the means by which he earns a living. He calls and says, "I think I lost my creativity. I haven’t been able to think of anything original for over two weeks." Ask him, "Think of times in the past when you found it difficult to be creative. What exactly helped you regain it?" It might have been a brief vacation. It might have been a visit to a particular location where he could think clearly. It might have been a trip to a garden, a library, or a discussion with another creative person.
A student told me the following:
When I am speaking to someone who is angry at another person and wishes to overcome this feeling, I frequently say, "Think of a specific time in the past when you were angry at this person or at another person and let go of that anger. "What did you think, say, or do to overcome that anger?" Since there are many approaches to overcoming anger, this enables you to find an approach that this person relates to and it is often effective in the present.
* * *
A professional counselor who teaches non-professionals basic counseling skills related, "One of the first things I teach them is to ask people in a crisis, ‘How have you solved a similar situation in the past?’ One of the trainees said that he was faced with someone who was totally discouraged and didn’t feel like living. At first the counselor felt that this called for someone with more experience. But then he remembered to ask the question. The person who was totally discouraged said that he had felt this way at least five times before. He elaborated on the different things that he did to revitalize himself. It was amazing how quickly this helped get the person into a much healthier frame of mind.
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Nominate Your Hero
Do you know a hero?
Each year, the Volvo for life Awards recognizes everyday heroes with nearly $1 million in awards that include funding and, for the top hero each year, a "Volvo for life". More than 13,500 extraordinary heroes across America who have been nominated for this program since it began.
May I nominate someone who lives outside the United States for a Volvo for life Award?
You may nominate U.S. citizens who are currently residing outside the United States or its territories for a Volvo for life Award, but you may not nominate individuals living outside the United States and its territories if they are NOT U.S. citizens.
May I nominate someone who lives outside the United States for a Volvo for life Award?
You may nominate U.S. citizens who are currently residing outside the United States or its territories for a Volvo for life Award, but you may not nominate individuals living outside the United States and its territories if they are NOT U.S. citizens.
May I nominate an eligible nominee for the Volvo for life Awards if I live in another country?
Yes. If your nominee meets our eligibility standards, you may nominate that person no matter where you reside.
Yes. If your nominee meets our eligibility standards, you may nominate that person no matter where you reside.
This year, the Volvo for life Awards turns five years old - and to celebrate, we have some very special plans...and you can be a part of them. Here's how you can participate:
- First, log onto http://www.volvoforlifeawards.com and nominate your hero for the 5th Annual Volvo for life Awards by July 31, 2006.
- Between July 31 and August 14, we'll select 5 hero semifinalists per state from every state in America from all 5 years of the Awards - including this year's nominations.
- Starting August 14, 2006, you'll have a chance to help pick the winners of the 5th Anniversary Awards by voting for your favorite heroes at http://www.volvoforlifeawards.com.
We're very excited about our 5th anniversary - and we hope you are too. To learn more about how to participate in this year's Awards, please visit http://www.volvoforlifeawards.com today!
Sincerely,
Volvo Cars of North America, LLC
- First, log onto http://www.volvoforlifeawards.com and nominate your hero for the 5th Annual Volvo for life Awards by July 31, 2006.
- Between July 31 and August 14, we'll select 5 hero semifinalists per state from every state in America from all 5 years of the Awards - including this year's nominations.
- Starting August 14, 2006, you'll have a chance to help pick the winners of the 5th Anniversary Awards by voting for your favorite heroes at http://www.volvoforlifeawards.com.
We're very excited about our 5th anniversary - and we hope you are too. To learn more about how to participate in this year's Awards, please visit http://www.volvoforlifeawards.com today!
Sincerely,
Volvo Cars of North America, LLC
Thank you to all of those who have nominated me in prior years for the Volvo award for the State of New Jersey
-Shmuel Greenbaum
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