KIND WORDS
Your Identity"A Mitzvah Lady "
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.TraditionOfKindness.org
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.TraditionOfKindness.org
My friend Judy has been a foster parent for over 20 years. Now that her own children are married with children of their own, she cares for two Down syndrome girls, an autistic 20-year old boy, and a 5-year old emotionally disturbed child!
Sunday was visiting day at the overnight camps, so she hired a car service for the day, to drive her (about three hours each way) to the camps and back.
First she visited the girls. They are, thank G-d, very high functioning, and were eagerly waiting for "Mommy" to arrive. They had a blast showing her around the camp, introducing her to their new friends, etc., just like any other campers would do.
After several hours with her girls, she made the trip to the boys' camp. She found Joey lying dejectedly on his bed, since there were no activities scheduled at the time for boys without visitors. As soon as Joey saw her, his face lit up, and he excitedly cried out "Mommy!" as he ran towards her.
Judy took Joey to the lake to go rowing with him, and on the way saw two other dejected young men.
"You have no visitors?" she asked.
"OK, so you're also coming with us to the lake". And they all trudged down the path together, for an unbelievable afternoon of fun.
Alex, the car service driver, was with her this whole time, and saw everything she was doing.
When she got home, she asked Alex how much she owed him, guessing it would be at least US$300. He responded with, "You are a mitzvah lady. You did a big mitzvah today. I can't take any money from you; that will be my mitzvah!" He even refused to let her just reimburse him for the gas and tolls. Not a penny.
Judy told me this story because she couldn't get over how Alex refused to accept any money after driving around in the New York heat wave all day. And according to Alex, Judy is the real hero.
I think they are both great, and in the merit of all the mitzvas they both did that Sunday, I pray G-d will protect our holy soldiers fighting terrorism in and around Israel, and bring them all safely home.
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"Your Identity"
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives:
Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
Your identity has a tremendous influence on your behavior. What we do readily or refuse to do is strongly connected with how we identify who we are. We tend to say, "I’ll do that. That’s who I am." Or, "I would never think of doing that. I’m not that kind of person." This pattern can work for us or against us depending on the nature of our subjective identity.
There was a famous study designed to illustrate the power of our sense of identity.
"Can we place this large billboard with the words: DRIVE CAREFULLY on your front lawn?" a number of homeowners were asked. Unbeknown to them the question was posed by a student working on a research project.
Understandably, most people answered, "No." They didn’t want unsightly signs on their expensive front lawns.
This same request was then posed in two steps. The house owners were asked, "Are you for safe driving?" Everyone replied, "Of course, yes."
"Then would you please sign this petition for safe driving." Most agreed to sign.
Several weeks later those who signed were approached again. "You signed a declaration that you are for safe driving. Are you still for safe driving today?"
"Yes. I haven’t changed my mind," was the unanimous response.
"Since you are a person who cares about safe driving, could you please allow us to place this billboard with a DRIVE CAREFULLY message on your front lawn?"
Most agreed. Why? Because once they identified themselves as individuals who cared about safe driving, they acted consistently with their new identity. Previously even if they agreed, they might have done so reluctantly. Now that they were acting in a way consistent with their identity as being concerned about safe driving, they felt good about doing their part to help save lives. This principle applies to all areas.
On our subject, the principle can be stated: Identify yourself as a person who is kind and caring and you will spontaneously upgrade your level of kindness.
There are many instances when you will have opportunities to do acts of kindness for others but might not be open to do them. At times you might not recognize the opportunity. At other times, you just won’t feel like doing the kind deed. Or you might not feel like it’s incumbent upon you to speak up.
When you identify yourself as a person who loves kindness, you will notice opportunities you hadn’t noticed before. You will feel like doing acts of kindness you didn’t feel like doing before. And you will always feel that it’s up to you to do as much good as you can throughout your life.
As you develop your love for kindness, you will view yourself as a person with a life goal to help others. You might not choose to share this with others. But in your heart you will know that this is who you are.
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