KIND WORDS
Counteracting A Negative Medical Prognosis
Counteracting A Negative Medical Prognosis
"The Telephone Call that Saved a Life"
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of
An old friend called me once, out of the blue, from Israel. Her young son had been diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. Since I am a doctor, she wanted to know if there was anyone I knew who could offer a second opinion. I really knew no one, but I felt I had nothing to lose by calling a friend. So I promptly picked up the phone and called my friend, Dr. Alan Roth, a pediatrician in New York and someone always willing to lend a hand in need. Frankly, I figured I would fulfill my obligation to try to help this old friend with a few phone calls, and report back to her that my efforts proved fruitless.
"Alan," I said, "you probably will not be able to help me, but perhaps you know someone who might," I said, and then proceeded to tell him about this boy with this form of cancer, and whatever details I knew.
"It so happens that my roommate in college went on to become a world expert in these types of cancer," Alan said.
Within hours, we contacted his former roommate, and a second opinion was offered, and the second opinion resulted in a change in diagnosis and treatment.
This boy recently celebrated his bar mitzvah (13th birthday), perhaps thanks in part to an old roommate of a friend in need.
The chances of this happening by coincidence seem so remote that I myself wonder what merit I had to be part of this lifesaving episode.
"Counteracting A Negative Medical Prognosis"
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
I heard these stories from my students:
I was told that I had only a few days left to live. That was over forty years ago.
Several doctors told me that we would be unable to have children. Fortunately they were wrong.
My doctor told me that I had only one chance in five hundred of overcoming my illness. I think he was being generous by giving me one chance. I used hope and laughter and spent the rest of my life encouraging others to believe in their ability to recover just as I did.
Doctors are humans. And all humans make errors. Those who feel they never make errors are guilty of an extreme error. Doctors save lives and heal. But they are fallible. Doctors have a mandate to heal, not to give up. Many doctors respect this mandate. Some don’t. They can mean well and in their minds don’t want to give false hopes. But a pessimistic prognosis can create discouragement. It is incumbent upon doctors to qualify a negative prognosis. They do have a responsibility to tell someone that a situation is serious and proper medical treatment is warranted. But it is crucial for them to be aware of instances when people did recover even though it might have appeared to be unlikely. The greater a doctor’s knowledge of exceptions to the standard, the greater his ability to soften a dire pronouncement.
Hearing and reading about stories of people who have recovered from life-threatening illnesses will supply you with ammunition to fight depressing medical statements. We need to live in reality. But it is a major error to prematurely feel that all hope is lost when there is a valid basis for that hope.
Medical miracles do happen. People who were not given a chance for recovery have recovered. Even those who do not fully recover often live many more fruitful years than an original prognosis predicted.
Recovery and healing can happen with serious medical conditions. All the more so with psychological and psychiatric disorders. Being told, "Your problem is deep-seated and you’ll never live a happy life," can create a self-fulfilling prophecy that can greatly hinder someone’s ability to regain emotional health. Give hope and encouragement when someone has been told, "Nothing can be done."
"Nothing can be done," really means, "At the present with my limited knowledge and abilities I don’t know what I can do to help." It doesn’t mean that no one else can help. And it doesn’t mean that this very person won’t be able to help in the future. And it doesn’t mean that there won’t be spontaneous remission.
A helpful sentence is, "You never know."
• "You never know. Perhaps the situation is better than you think."
• "You never know. You might recover and heal."
• "You never know all the good you can still experience."
• "You never know how spiritually elevated you can become by coping with this situation."
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