PartnersInKindness : Message: KIND WORDS

KIND WORDS
Achieving Dreams

"The Race for Life"
The author is Brad Fisher
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of

http://www.TraditionOfKindness.org

When you are looking after a child with a terminal illness life can often be gloomy, depressing and tiring. Around mid August last summer I was up all night with my daughter, which is not unusual since she suffers from Spinal Muscular Atrophy.

As dawn broke I opened my laptop and entered my online SMA support chat group to see what was happening. One of the members posted a story about Rick and Dick Hoyt the father and son Iron Man Team.

I couldn’t believe what I saw. Here was a 65 year old man competing in the Hawaiian Iron Man competition pulling his physically challenged 43 year old son in a dingy during the swim section and then biking and running with him with a modified bike and wheel chair.

Not only were they completing this grueling race, they were serious competitors beating out men in their 20’s. I had been looking to do something out of the ordinary with my daughter but I really wasn’t sure what I could do with her. When the common cold can be potentially fatal for your child it limits doing anything in a public environment like swimming or even walking in a mall.

I thought to myself, "yeah, running, I’m going to run with Shira in Victoria’s Half Marathon and raise money for SMA Support Inc." Well, I didn’t think about the fact that I hadn’t really done anything physical for the last year since Shira’s diagnosis let alone the last four years since my wife and I started a family. Shira is also very fragile. She must lay flat on her back, and has a host of medical equipment which must be with her at all times to keep her stable as well as for emergency purposes.

The same day I watched the Hoyt video (www.teamhoyt.com) I loaded Shira into her pram like wheel chair with all of her equipment stowed underneath and took her out for a run.

We started by just running down the block, then through Mt. Doug Park and then another mile and a half up the road down Lochside Trail and back home. Our first run was a five miler and Shira was beaming at the end of it. Not only was running a wonderful break from the monotony and stress of living with a terminal illness but it was great therapy for Shira; because she doesn’t move, the constant jostling and fresh air was really good respiratory therapy for her.

When we arrived home I devised a run-walk routine of run three minutes and walk one minute with a minimum of five mile runs. I would run three to four times a week and on my off days we would power walk up Mt. Doug and through the forest for a minimum of an hour.

Two weeks before the race Shira and I ran 14 miles in three and a half hours. We took the run at a leisurely pace stopping to visit with dogs, cats, chickens, pigs and horses on our way out and back along Lochside Trail. By race day we were ready.

Race day was packed with excitement for us. The morning of the race our home was invaded by yellow jackets while loading the car, none of the inverters worked for the emergency equipment in the car and the rain would not stop falling.

During the race Shira felt so relaxed and comfortable that she slept for forty five minutes. Even though we started five minutes after the race started and had to walk for the first ten minutes Shira and I finished with a respectable time of 2:22 tag time. I could see the excitement, joy and sense of accomplishment on Shira’s face at the end of the race.

My daughter and her terminal illness has taught me once again that there is a positive side to every situation even terminal illness. Shira and I raised over $10,000 dollars for SMA Support Inc. and more than that we have found an event that Shira can take part in with her dad.

I would just like to finish with a quote from Rick Hoyt the physically challenged Iron Man competitor, "CAN."

The author welcomes your e-mails of support. You can contact Brad at brad@...

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"Achieving Dreams"
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press

Many of us have dreams that we would love to achieve but do not consider to be practical. We feel that our dream is so phenomenal that it would be too good to be true for us to make that dream a reality. A dream in its original form might truly be impossible. But we can take that dream and find ways to achieve its essence.

Helping people achieve their dreams does more than just help them reach their goals. They might have felt that something is impossible and you show them how they can actually make it happen.

Consider this scenario. Someone lacks the money needed to pay for a course which will make a major difference in his ability to achieve his dream. You might give him the money as a grant, lend him the money with easy terms, or find someone else who will be willing to help out. You will be making a dream come true.

Or this one. Someone might have deep feelings about wanting a certain job, wishing to develop a certain talent, or dreaming to accomplish and achieve beyond what they thought possible. You come along and find ways to make that want, wish, or dream an actual reality. This will help that person make a quantum leap. In essence, you will be creating a new person.

Never laugh at people’s dreams. To you someone’s dreams might seem as impossible as flying a machine heavier than air seemed to many before the Wright brothers’ initial flight, or breaking the four minute mile seemed before Roger Bennister did it. But those "impossible" dreams did come true.

If you feel that someone is wasting his time pursuing a truly impossible dream, be careful how you word your comments. Never mock anyone. Explain respectfully why you would advise this person to make changes in the exact form of the dream.

There are some dreams that might not be feasible in the original way they are presented. But there are aspects of those dreams that definitely can be reached. Someone might want to write a book that will totally change the world. Perhaps this is a bit too much. But a thousand people’s lives might actually be changed. Not exactly the entire world, but a major accomplishment. And even the process of writing a manuscript that won’t be published will change the author himself. As a teacher of mine used to say, "When you reach for the stars, you might not catch any, but at least you won’t get your hands in the mud."

Keep asking people, "What are your dreams?" Some dreamers have learned from painful experiences not to share their dreams with others. They have been demeaned and ridiculed. Express your admiration and respect for the very act of having a dream. Be encouraging.

People who are hesitant about pursuing their dreams often have a feeling, "If I don’t reach my dreams, I am a failure. So it’s safer not to pursue a dream that might not work out." However, a positive action never results in failure. We learn something from each experience. One project leads to another. It’s worthwhile working on ten projects that don’t make it. The eleventh, fifteenth, or twentieth project might be immensely successful. All the work devoted to the steps that led to the success retroactively will be seen as exactly what was needed to gain the necessary knowledge and experience.

If a person doesn’t have a dream, you might ask, "If you weren’t afraid to dream, what would your dream be?" By verbalizing a dream, the most important first step has been reached. And as you read this, you can ask yourself, "How can I actualize my dream to help others?"

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Kind Words from a Reader
About a Recent Story

As a massage therapist, I'd like to add that massage can do wonderful things to those suffering emotionally and physically.

The Hineni Center in Jerusalem works with terrorist bombing survivors and recently set up a massage therapy room for this purpose. They welcome volunteer massage therapists.

An organization called "The Gift Of Comfort," founded by Ruth Schlossman provides massages to those who have been bereaved, traumatized or injured from the conflict.

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