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KIND WORDS
Correcting Mistakes Sensitively
Correcting Mistakes Sensitively
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.PartnersInKindness.org
Today’s e-mail was sponsored anonymously
I am a counselor for a six week summer program. My mom has lovingly sent me many cards and packages during my stay here. One counselor was upset that she never got any mail and complained bitterly, and only half-jokingly, that "nobody loved her."
I took a piece of construction paper, folded it, grabbed a bunch of pretty markers, and started coloring. The end result -- A "Happy Summer" card, which I put it in her mailbox.
One counselor was not feeling well this week. I took a piece of construction paper, folded it, grabbed a bunch of pretty markers, and started coloring. The end result -- A "Get-Well" card.
Everyone enjoys receiving mail, as long as it’s not bills. Children, especially, love getting cards and letters -- just for them. For the past two or three weeks, I've been creating cards like the two mentioned previously -- either "Get-Well Soon" or "Happy Summer" cards. I send them to children who have terminal illnesses. There is a website (www.makeachildsmile.org) where parents of the children submit a post office box address and a short biography of the child or children, their illness, their likes/dislikes, hobbies, etc.
I also encourage the girls in my suite to make cards as well. I have sent out about thirty home-made cards.
Imagining the look on the child's face when she sees that she has a card or letter and opening it up and seeing the images and sweet message absolutely thrills me.
I took a piece of construction paper, folded it, grabbed a bunch of pretty markers, and started coloring. The end result -- A "Happy Summer" card, which I put it in her mailbox.
One counselor was not feeling well this week. I took a piece of construction paper, folded it, grabbed a bunch of pretty markers, and started coloring. The end result -- A "Get-Well" card.
Everyone enjoys receiving mail, as long as it’s not bills. Children, especially, love getting cards and letters -- just for them. For the past two or three weeks, I've been creating cards like the two mentioned previously -- either "Get-Well Soon" or "Happy Summer" cards. I send them to children who have terminal illnesses. There is a website (www.makeachildsmile.org) where parents of the children submit a post office box address and a short biography of the child or children, their illness, their likes/dislikes, hobbies, etc.
I also encourage the girls in my suite to make cards as well. I have sent out about thirty home-made cards.
Imagining the look on the child's face when she sees that she has a card or letter and opening it up and seeing the images and sweet message absolutely thrills me.
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"Positive Feedback"
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
Some people identify themselves with their faults, weaknesses, and limitations. This weakens and limits them. Others identify themselves with their virtues, skills, and positive qualities. This strengthens those people and brings out their best.
Identify yourself with your strengths and virtues. This will help you help others do the same.
"What are your main strengths and virtues?" you can ask. Some will feel comfortable telling them to you. Others won’t. Some out of modesty. Others because they haven’t as yet identified themselves with their strengths. When they do, it will feel so natural to them that they will readily mention it to others. It’s not boasting but a statement of fact similar to one’s height or color of eyes.
Keep offering positive feedback whenever you can. The less a person identifies with his strengths, the more important it is for you to strengthen his identification with them.
Positive feedback is different than general praise. It is when you notice skill, talent, and excellence and comment:
"That was very good."
"I see that you are highly skilled at this."
"Well-done."
"This job was done with precision."
"You do this excellently."
"I admire your proficiency."
"You are a true expert."
One of my students told me this story:
My parents criticized me, and rarely gave me positive feedback. I grew up feeling that I had many more faults than strengths. What changed my view of myself was a series of meetings I had with an empowering teacher. He pointed out strengths that I only barely realized that I possessed.
"You are your strengths," he told me.
"But I hardly ever apply them," I argued.
"If you would apply them all the time I wouldn’t have to reinforce your awareness of them," he smiled. "What really stops you from identifying yourself with your strengths?" he challenged me.
I thought for a moment and admitted, "The true answer is simply because I’m just not used to seeing myself that way."
"Experiment for an entire week," he suggested. "This week consider yourself a person who has these strengths. See the difference this makes."
I tried this for the week. It helped me so much that I kept it up. This was the single most empowering advice I had ever heard and it has made a major difference in my life.
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
Some people identify themselves with their faults, weaknesses, and limitations. This weakens and limits them. Others identify themselves with their virtues, skills, and positive qualities. This strengthens those people and brings out their best.
Identify yourself with your strengths and virtues. This will help you help others do the same.
"What are your main strengths and virtues?" you can ask. Some will feel comfortable telling them to you. Others won’t. Some out of modesty. Others because they haven’t as yet identified themselves with their strengths. When they do, it will feel so natural to them that they will readily mention it to others. It’s not boasting but a statement of fact similar to one’s height or color of eyes.
Keep offering positive feedback whenever you can. The less a person identifies with his strengths, the more important it is for you to strengthen his identification with them.
Positive feedback is different than general praise. It is when you notice skill, talent, and excellence and comment:
"That was very good."
"I see that you are highly skilled at this."
"Well-done."
"This job was done with precision."
"You do this excellently."
"I admire your proficiency."
"You are a true expert."
One of my students told me this story:
My parents criticized me, and rarely gave me positive feedback. I grew up feeling that I had many more faults than strengths. What changed my view of myself was a series of meetings I had with an empowering teacher. He pointed out strengths that I only barely realized that I possessed.
"You are your strengths," he told me.
"But I hardly ever apply them," I argued.
"If you would apply them all the time I wouldn’t have to reinforce your awareness of them," he smiled. "What really stops you from identifying yourself with your strengths?" he challenged me.
I thought for a moment and admitted, "The true answer is simply because I’m just not used to seeing myself that way."
"Experiment for an entire week," he suggested. "This week consider yourself a person who has these strengths. See the difference this makes."
I tried this for the week. It helped me so much that I kept it up. This was the single most empowering advice I had ever heard and it has made a major difference in my life.
Kind Words is a free weekly e-mail distributed by Partners In Kindness.
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If you have permission to reprint this e-mail, please ensure that you reprint the entire e-mail (including this notice).
Although the content of these e-mails contains copyrighted material, Partners in Kindness allows users who register at our website to reprint them in print, on a website, or on an e-mail distribution list at no cost.
If you have permission to reprint this e-mail, please ensure that you reprint the entire e-mail (including this notice).
Kindness is like music, art, sports or any other discipline -- it can only be mastered with practice, training, and lots and lots of encouragement. That is what PartnersInKindness.org is trying to promote.
The archive for Kind Words e-mails is located at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PartnersInKindnessFor further information, please visit our Website http://www.PartnersInKindness.org
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