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KIND WORDS
Be Kind Unconditionally
"Who can say 'I'm more important than someone else?'"
This story is an excerpt from an upcoming book written by Leah Lipszyc in memory of her father-in-law, Yoel Lipszyc.
Printed with Permission of http://www.TraditionOfKindness.org
While living in Paris, Zaidie (Grandpa) and Babbie (Grandma) ran a small restaurant. This was in the already difficult pre-war days, when there were more patrons who couldn't afford to compensate them for their meals, than paying clientele. More often than not, they would not pay, either because they didn't have the money on them or because Zaidie simply invited them as guests, knowing that they couldn't afford to pay.
One paying customer used to come in daily to buy a bowl of soup and bread. One day he came in and uneasily said to Babbie "I can't afford to pay you anymore." Babbie told him not to worry, as she'd gladly serve him as usual. He then proceeded to order a full three course meal with wine. Babbie began to speak to him, "every day when you paid, soup and bread was good enough…" Zaidie quickly and quietly pulled Babbie aside and said "He is our guest now; if he wants a three course meal with wine, give it to him." Obviously, with their generosity, the restaurant provided them with very little revenue. The situation soon reached the point that the business was not producing income at all.
During the early period of the occupation, Zaidie was once rounded up together with a great many other Jews. One of Babbie's brothers, Uncle Motche, who was about fourteen-years-old at the time and had not been incarcerated with the others, stood outside the gate. Zaidie told him to run home and tell Babbie all the details of what had happened and where they were. He knew that Babbie would know what had to be done.
She quickly gathered together as much money as possible and approached the compound's kommandant to buy Zaidie's release. The German obviously demanded a high ransom. Babbie paid and got a permit to release Zaidie. When he was told that he could leave, he refused to do so until all the others who had been rounded with him were also released. Neither Babbie's pleas nor Zaidie's comprehension of the severity of the situation would change his insistence on bailing out all the other Jews who had been apprehended together with him. Babbie once again had to pawn off all of her valuables, as well as to borrow money from others, in order to secure the release of every one of those Jews. She worked very hard after they escaped and set up a new home in America, to make sure she repaid this debt.
Another time, while still residing in Belgium, Zaidie was again rounded up and put into a detention camp by the Nazis. Somehow Zaidie got the guard to agree to stand at the far side of the yard at a certain time of the night. He managed to dig a space under the barbed wire and helped 250 men escape in one night, but he didn't leave with them. Zaidie wanted to do a repeat performance the next night.
The following morning, the guard went over to him and told him "Rabbiner, they know what you did. You must leave right now!" Noticing a laundry truck that was in the yard at the time, Zaidie immediately jumped onto the back of the truck, hiding under the dirty laundry, escaping just in time to avoid the consequences of his deed. Just imagine how many people were in that yard that Zaidie though they wouldn't miss 250 or 500 of them!
Although the situation was growing more and more critical with each passing day, and Zaidie was very aware and concerned about the dark clouds hovering over Europe, he still did everything possible in the little time remaining, to help other Jews get travel permits and find ways to leave the country. He borrowed money and used it to help many others escape the imminent inferno called the Holocaust.
Zaidie was very aware of the world political situation and at that point he knew that they had to leave Belgium already. He told everyone whom he thought might be interested that he was planning on leaving and if they wanted to join his family they could. At one point one of the interested people complained that Zaidie was telling too many people. He told him that they were much less likely to successfully escape if the group was a large one. Zaidie's reply was that "if the Ribbono Shel Oilom (Ruler of the World) wants, they'll all make it out safely. Who can say 'I'm more important than someone else?'"
The destination of the ship upon which the family was traveling was America. However, when it approached the shores of the United States, as with so many other ships coming from Europe at the time, they were denied entry and the ship was forced to turn back. Many lives were lost due to this denial of landing rights by the American government, and Zaidie once again used his powers of persuasion to convince the very reluctant captain to change his course and take them to Cuba. (There is a story here about Zaidie organizing the people on the ship to threaten that every man, woman, and child would jump overboard if G-d forbid the boat would have gone back to Europe.)
Upon reaching the shores of Cuba, Zaidie applied immediately for visas into the United States. At that time, America was willing for young families to come and build up America. They did not want more elderly people, who they looked upon as a burden. They promptly gave visas for each member of the family. Zaidie, just as promptly gave the visas to older people. He waited awhile and then applied again, receiving more visas, and again disbursing them to the elderly. This he continued to do for about five years. It took that long for the officials to catch on to what was going on. Finally, the last time he applied, many weeks went by without his receiving visas. When he inquired, he was told that the captain on the ship had the visas for the Lipszyc family and would give them directly to Zaidie when they would arrive in Florida.
Once Zaidie told Babbie that another immigrant in desperate need had asked him for money. He was holding some charity money from the Jewish community in Cuba, so he gave that money to the man. Babbie asked how Zaidie could give away the community’s money to someone when he knows the man has no money with which to repay the debt. Zaidie's response was 'well who else would ask him for money, a rich man?' Of course Babbie and Zaidie repaid the loan themselves.
For more information about the author, Leah Lipszyc, see her website, http://www.chabadcrimea.org/
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"Be Kind Unconditionally"
From: Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
Once you have done an act of kindness for another person, be grateful if the person is grateful. But don’t expect gratitude. Many people lack the ability to express gratitude. If you do your acts of kindness because you hope you will receive gratitude, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
Some people are very hurt and feel resentful if they help another person and he isn’t grateful. When you do an act of kindness, do it wholeheartedly. Do it even if that person will never do anything at all for you. Do kindness unconditionally and you will never regret the good you have done.
"True kindness" is the kindness you do for someone who is deceased. Attending his funeral and being involved in honoring him after his death is the truest level of kindness. Why? Because he will never do anything for you. He can’t even say, "Thank you," regardless of how difficult it was for you to attend his funeral. Since you are doing an act of respect which will not be reciprocated by this person, your act of kindness is more elevated.
The authors students provided these stories:
I used to have many angry quarrels. I would go out of my way to do many things for others, but I didn’t feel I was receiving enough gratitude. This would make me angry, and I would rebuke and censure relatives and friends for not being more grateful.
I spoke to someone who advised me, "Take pleasure in the good you do. Let the knowledge that you are doing kind acts be its own reward."
"This sounds too lofty for me," I argued. "I’m a regular human being and it bothers me when my efforts are not met with gratitude."
"Forget about high spiritual levels right now," he said. "Do this out of intelligent self-interest. When you demand the gratitude you don’t spontaneously receive, you end up quarreling and everyone loses. By not demanding gratitude, you will end up with more gratitude than before. Please do me a favor and try it out."
He was right. It worked. When others saw that my kindness came from my sincere caring and not as a means of obtaining gratitude, the actual gratitude increased immensely. But I was sincerely prepared to forgo gratitude, so I could only win and there was no way to lose.
* * *
Whenever I did something for someone, what was uppermost in my mind was, "I hope this person will do something for me in return. If he won’t, I should be doing this for someone who will."
This attitude caused me much resentment. A friend of mine consistently did acts of kindness for people who weren’t likely to reciprocate. He told me, "When someone does something for another person with the hope that they will do something in return, he is never certain if he will get what he wants. When I joyfully do a kind act unconditionally, I am one hundred percent guaranteed to benefit from what I do. It makes sense to get a guarantee on one’s investment in time and energy."
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October 7
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January 20
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