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KIND WORDS
Enhancing Self-Image The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.PartnersInKindness.org
I am an administrative assistant, and I know I appreciate when I receive a compliment for being helpful. So I have been making a point to compliment vendors, salespeople, etc. when they have been kind and helpful. I tell them, "You're a really nice person!" and also tell them that I appreciate their help. Whenever possible, I let their supervisor know as well.
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"Enhancing Self-Image"
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
Self-image is a choice. It is a choice that is often not looked at as a choice. Our entire life history, especially our childhood, has a powerful effect on how we choose to view ourselves. The messages we heard from our parents about who we are had a major impact on us. The messages we heard from our family and close friends influenced us as did the messages we heard from people we met just once in passing. Some messages had a greater impact and others a more minor one. But all messages impacted on us. It is still our own decision about how we will view ourselves that is the key to how we define who we are.
While any individual can upgrade his or her self-image on their own, it is often more effective if an objective outsider shares with us a view of ourselves that enhances our self-image.
A person with a limiting self-image, will not readily accept your positive statements. Just mouthing the right words, "I think you are a wonderful person," may or may not have meaning. First, you need to really feel that this is true. "Words that come from the heart enter the heart." Second, that person needs to be made to feel that what you say is valid.
When you say things to boost someone’s self-image, he may respond, "You are just saying this to make me feel good." It’s quite obvious that you’re not saying this to make the person feel bad. But you must really believe and feel what you are saying. Then you can sincerely say, "I’m saying these positive things about you because they are true. And yes, I confess. I want you to feel better."
Believe in your own intrinsic value. When you have a deep and intense belief in the infinite value of each human being, the way you interact with others will automatically have a positive influence on their feelings about themselves. So every time you see your image in a mirror realize that you and every other human have fabulous worth. Integrating this yourself will enable you to spread this concept among others.
Be patient. Anyone who has had a low self-image all his life might not be open to making an immediate change in self-perception. At times one brief conversation might be the turning point for this person. Be prepared to have many conversations. How many? As many as it takes.
A friend related the following to me:
I recall seeing someone who radiated confidence and self-assurance in a modest way. This wasn’t how he looked just six months before.
"You look great," I told him. "Did anything special happen to you?"
"Nothing that special," he replied. "But I did hear one sentence that was obvious, but somehow when I heard it this time it had a great effect on me. I attended a lecture and the speaker said, ‘Your level of accomplishment is dependent on your self-image. And your self-image is whatever you decide it will be." ‘If it’s my decision, then I will decide right now that my value to myself is infinite. I feel this now and I guess it shows.``
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Although the content of these e-mails contains copyrighted material, Partners in Kindness allows users who register at our website to reprint them in print, on a website, or on an e-mail distribution list at no cost.
If you have permission to reprint this e-mail, please ensure that you reprint the entire e-mail (including this notice).
Names of people, places, and other details mentioned in these stories may have been changed to protect privacy.
Kindness is like music, art, sports or any other discipline -- it can only be mastered with practice, training, and lots and lots of encouragement. That is what PartnersInKindness.org is trying to promote.
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