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KIND WORDS
Happiness-Producing Questions How to be a Better Person
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.PartnersInKindness.org
Undoubtedly you've heard about persons who have a "green" thumb--a good way with plants and flowers. Well, I've always had a "black" thumb. Everything I touch quickly dies. But me, nevertheless the eternal optimist, had planned to purchase a special plant fertilizer at the very last minute. I had asked Mr. S. to deliver the product to his garden store where I would pick it up. But then my husband took ill and I was involved with doctors and telephone calls. I forgot all about the plant fertilizer until two days later. I felt so guilty for having asked Mr. S. to make a special delivery to his store and then I didn't appear.
I telephoned to Mr. S. I explained that I had forgotten to come to the store because my husband had become ill, I expected Mr. S. to respond with something like "but I made a special trip just to deliver the plant fertilizer to the store for you!"
No such response:
Faster than you could blink an eye he said "Tell me your husband's name and I'll pray for him."
I was both surprised and grateful at the same time. Such a kind person! Such a beautiful soul! Thank you! I have learned from you a little bit of how to be a better person.
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"Happiness-Producing Questions"
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
When you ask people questions, you get them to focus on specific pieces of information and memories. It’s an act of kindness to ask the type of questions that give people pleasure and increase their level of happiness.
Here are some questions that you can use as tools to help people access positive states:
* What gives you the most happiness in your life?
* What were your greatest moments?
* What are your favorite childhood memories?
* What are some of the nicest things that people have said to you?
* What was your best vacation?
* What makes you smile?
* What makes you laugh?
* Who makes you feel good just by being in that person’s presence?
* What do you enjoy reading?
* What songs put you in positive states?
* What is your favorite possession?
* What is your favorite day of the year?
* When have you unexpectedly had a better time than you thought you would?
* When have you been pleasantly surprised by the way something you did turned out?
* When did you feel you would succeed and you actually did?
* When have you felt joy about seeing someone you hadn’t seen in a long time?
* What praises and positive feedback have you appreciated?
* What is the nicest thing a teacher ever told you?
* When did you surprise yourself by being more skillful at something than you thought you could?
* How do you look when you smile at yourself in a mirror?
* When has someone given you a gift that you greatly appreciated?
* What do you consider your wisest decision?
* What advice do you have for others to increase their happiness?
* What did you do for someone else that you felt great about?
* What is the nicest thing a total stranger ever did for you?
* What have you been grateful for in the past?
* What are you grateful for in the present?
* When have you felt joyous for no special reason?
* What healthy activities give you a natural high?
* When were you about to give up and someone’s encouragement kept you motivated?
* (For grandparents): What is a clever thing one of your grandchildren said?
* What is your favorite question that anyone ever asked you?
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.PartnersInKindness.org
Undoubtedly you've heard about persons who have a "green" thumb--a good way with plants and flowers. Well, I've always had a "black" thumb. Everything I touch quickly dies. But me, nevertheless the eternal optimist, had planned to purchase a special plant fertilizer at the very last minute. I had asked Mr. S. to deliver the product to his garden store where I would pick it up. But then my husband took ill and I was involved with doctors and telephone calls. I forgot all about the plant fertilizer until two days later. I felt so guilty for having asked Mr. S. to make a special delivery to his store and then I didn't appear.
I telephoned to Mr. S. I explained that I had forgotten to come to the store because my husband had become ill, I expected Mr. S. to respond with something like "but I made a special trip just to deliver the plant fertilizer to the store for you!"
No such response:
Faster than you could blink an eye he said "Tell me your husband's name and I'll pray for him."
I was both surprised and grateful at the same time. Such a kind person! Such a beautiful soul! Thank you! I have learned from you a little bit of how to be a better person.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
"Happiness-Producing Questions"
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
When you ask people questions, you get them to focus on specific pieces of information and memories. It’s an act of kindness to ask the type of questions that give people pleasure and increase their level of happiness.
Here are some questions that you can use as tools to help people access positive states:
* What gives you the most happiness in your life?
* What were your greatest moments?
* What are your favorite childhood memories?
* What are some of the nicest things that people have said to you?
* What was your best vacation?
* What makes you smile?
* What makes you laugh?
* Who makes you feel good just by being in that person’s presence?
* What do you enjoy reading?
* What songs put you in positive states?
* What is your favorite possession?
* What is your favorite day of the year?
* When have you unexpectedly had a better time than you thought you would?
* When have you been pleasantly surprised by the way something you did turned out?
* When did you feel you would succeed and you actually did?
* When have you felt joy about seeing someone you hadn’t seen in a long time?
* What praises and positive feedback have you appreciated?
* What is the nicest thing a teacher ever told you?
* When did you surprise yourself by being more skillful at something than you thought you could?
* How do you look when you smile at yourself in a mirror?
* When has someone given you a gift that you greatly appreciated?
* What do you consider your wisest decision?
* What advice do you have for others to increase their happiness?
* What did you do for someone else that you felt great about?
* What is the nicest thing a total stranger ever did for you?
* What have you been grateful for in the past?
* What are you grateful for in the present?
* When have you felt joyous for no special reason?
* What healthy activities give you a natural high?
* When were you about to give up and someone’s encouragement kept you motivated?
* (For grandparents): What is a clever thing one of your grandchildren said?
* What is your favorite question that anyone ever asked you?
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