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KIND WORDS - Undo The "Curses" Of Negative Predictions   Message List  
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KIND WORDS
Undo The "Curses" Of Negative Predictions
 
Today's e-mail is sponsored by Michael & Adriane Kreisberg
For information about sponsorship contact
Info@...
 
"Mrs. Allan, You're a Big Airbag!"
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of
http://www.PartnersInKindness.org
 
I work in an elementary school with children with special needs. One year early in my career, a small autistic boy, Michael, was my charge. We were together most of the time and enjoyed each others company. I was always careful to respectfully maintain his dignity as I helped him get though his day academically and socially. I would at times remind him that I was there to help "keep him safe" versus highlighting his disability.

One day we were outside on the swings. I was giving Michael a push, when he said, "Mrs. Allan, you're a big airbag!" Somewhat surprised by this remark, I surrendered my pride and responded with "Why do you say that, Michael?"

His reply will always be a tender spot in my heart. He said, "Because you always keep me safe!" A lump rose in my throat. I was glad G-d had given me the wisdom to respond with kindness instead of correcting Michael for an otherwise inappropriate remark.

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Undo the "Curses" Of Negative Predictions
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press

"You’ll never amount to anything."

"You won’t be able to cope with such a difficult situation."

"You’re too stupid to understand."

"No one will marry you, and if some unlucky person does, your marriage will be a disaster."

Many people carry an invisible burden. This is the weight of unfavorable predictions about their abilities and future. These "curses" are usually a product of someone’s frustration, anger, resentment, or spite. At times well-meaning parents, teachers, or friends will deliver their negative prognosis in the form of giving advice.

You have the ability to undo these curses. You can point out the limitations of the people who gave those negative forecasts. Some of the things you can say are:

* "No human being has the right to limit another person. Whoever tries to limit you is wrong."

* "You already have learned so much. Keep it up and this trend will take you much further than anyone could foresee."

* "This person was just speaking out of anger. An angry person makes mistakes and spouts untruths. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about."

* "There are others with far less natural intelligence, talents, and skills who have coped well and accomplished much."

* "Don’t give up. If you quit, you will be defeating yourself. By devoting all your inner resources, I guarantee you that you will succeed in the end."

Experts in a field can have the experience to make positive predictions:

* "I’ve been teaching for thirty years and I tell you that you have the intelligence to do well."

* "You have what it takes to cope well. I’ve seen people who couldn’t and I know that you can."

* "I’ve met people with greater handicaps who have put in the effort and have accomplished greatly."

When you meet people who aren’t doing well in some area, interview them for potential negative predictions. "What were the messages your parents and teachers gave you about your abilities and future?" "Has anyone ever told you that you wouldn’t be able to succeed?" Use your knowledge, experience, and creativity to help transcend and transform counterproductive predictions to ones that are helpful and beneficial.

It’s easy to issue limiting predictions. It can be difficult to undo their effects. If someone has internalized a negative picture, it can take a lot of effort on your part to counteract it. Be persistent. Your success will help transform this person’s life.

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Names of people, places, and other details mentioned in these stories may have been changed to protect privacy.

Kindness is like music, art, sports or any other discipline -- it can only be mastered with practice, training, and lots and lots of encouragement. That is what PartnersInKindness.org is trying to promote.

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Wed Jan 23, 2008 10:55 pm

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KIND WORDS Undo The "Curses" Of Negative Predictions Today's e-mail is sponsored by Michael & Adriane Kreisberg For information about sponsorship contact...
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Jan 24, 2008
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