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KIND WORDS
I’ve Been Waiting For You My Entire Life!
I’ve Been Waiting For You My Entire Life!
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.PartnersInKindness.org
As I was a child growing up, my mother would always tell me to marry well because I would never amount to anything. Repeated derogatory statements about lack of intelligence, lowly looks and slovenly appearance, berated me on a daily basis.
My guardian angel was my mother-in-law. Ann told me I was smart and pretty. She and I would shop together, do each others makeup and she would support me in learning new things. It took her many years to undo the harm and pain suffered at the hands of my own mother. But she did undo them.
She finally talked me into going back to school. She watched my children while I attended classes. She helped me with cooking and cleaning so that I could do my homework. Each day she told me what a wonderful thing I was doing and how this was such a good and positive influence for my own kids.
When I made honors and dean's list, she would make a great deal out of it. She would bake a cake or buy dinner out. She would always reinforce the positive things in my life. I earned not one but two undergrad degrees in four years. Later when I went back she supported me again while I earned not one but two Master's degrees. She said, "Go and teach! You have the heart and the knowledge."
When my marriage began having serious problems, Mom told me to try and work it out but told him to grow up and quit being jealous of his smart wife. Unfortunately my husband did things which were not appropriate at the same time I was taking his mother to the doctor for some questionable growths. We discovered she had a very fast growing and incurable form of cancer. We were told she only had weeks. After hearing this, she did not feel sorry for herself, she took my hands and said, "You are the kind of woman I always wanted in a daughter. Now divorce that son of mine because he never treated you right. You will always be my daughter in my heart."
Shortly after her death, two months later, I filed for divorce. The love and courage this woman gave me is exceptional and lives with me ever day. I share this generous gift with everyone I can but mostly with my children and grandchildren. I never let them hear negatives if I can avoid it and when they do, I use Mom's love to share with them and tell them how truly smart they are.
Just as a side note, I took several IQ tests and found out that my IQ is 143 on average with all of the tests. Not too dumb!
Thank you for letting me finally say in words the blessings I have had in my life and carry in my heart. In loving memory of Ann, mother-in-law by marriage, Mother by a loving heart. May every person be blessed with someone as loving and kind as she was.
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"I’ve Been Waiting For You My Entire Life!"
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
Every minor act of kindness is valuable and precious. But every once in a while you will have an opportunity to say or do something for someone about which they will be able to say to you, "I’ve been waiting for you my entire life."
A tool for making a major difference in someone’s life is to ask yourself, "What can I say or do for this person that he would say to me, "I’ve been waiting for you my entire life."?
Consider these examples from my students:
* I’ve heard a lot of criticism my entire life. I’ve been waiting for someone to tell me that they see my good qualities and strengths.
* I have a serious learning disability. I’ve been waiting for someone to find a way to help me make a major breakthrough in my learning.
* I’m very sensitive to criticism and insults. I’ve been waiting for someone to help me feel so good about myself that I can view criticism and insults objectively without pain. I would love to be able to learn from valid comments and to be able to ignore those that are mistaken.
* It’s taking me a long time to find a suitable marriage partner. I’ve been waiting for someone to make the right suggestion.
* I feel that I have talents and skills that have not yet been utilized. I’ve been waiting for the right coach my whole life.
* I have accomplished a lot. But I feel that I could go much further if I were to have someone who could take care of the logistics for me.
* I desperately need to lose weight. I have tried many diets and many plans. So far nothing has worked for me. I can’t do it alone. I need a coach who will stick with me while I experience my ups and downs.
* I don’t experience very much joy in my life. Short lectures and books don’t help me. I’ve been waiting for someone to train me to become more joyous. I need someone who will stick with me and reinforce the ideas I need to hear over and over again.
* I’ve been a doormat my entire life. I’ve been waiting for someone to teach me to speak up for myself.
* I feel discouraged about life. I’ve been waiting for someone to give me hope.
* I have always been indecisive. I’ve been waiting for someone to teach me to become more decisive.
* I have always been highly disorganized. I’ve been waiting for someone to help me become more organized.
* I have always been fearful around other people. I’ve been waiting for someone to help me feel more comfortable.
* I have always lacked ambition. I’ve been waiting for someone to help me become more ambitious.
* I have always procrastinated. I’m waiting for someone to make me more proactive.
* I have always been waiting for someone to help me in some important way. But I don’t even know what I am waiting for. I’m certain I’ll recognize it when it happens. I am ultimately waiting for someone who knows me better than I know myself or at least who is aware of opportunities that I am as yet unaware of.
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Kind Words is a free weekly e-mail distributed by Partners In Kindness.
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Names of people, places, and other details mentioned in these stories may have been changed to protect privacy.
Kindness is like music, art, sports or any other discipline -- it can only be mastered with practice, training, and lots and lots of encouragement. That is what PartnersInKindness.org is trying to promote.
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