"Being There and Showing Care at Work"
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.PartnersInKindness.org

My students have told me the following:

I see people as selfish, self-centered, defensive, and incompetent. And I’ve seen this proven again and again. If people were better, I would be able to treat them better.

I see people as distant and unfriendly. This causes me to close up. And they probably see me the same way, even though inwardly I see myself as a friendly person.

I see people as open, warm, and kind. Whenever they aren’t this way, it’s because at this moment they’re not really themselves. I’ve seen so many people open up and reveal that they are warm and kind so I know that this is the reality of the human condition.

The way you see people is the way they will be in your presence. You the observer have a major effect on the person you interact with. Radiate positive energy and this positive energy will be reflected back to you again and again.

People who view others with negative lenses bring out the worst in others. People who are fearful of others and are easily intimidated, fail to bring out the best. And those who view others in a positive light without being naïve or blinded by wishful thinking will elicit the goodness in others. This does not mean that we can trust everyone. There definitely are people who are mean or dishonest. But you have a better chance of influencing others to treat you kindly by perceiving them as kind.

The toughest people are often those who inside are small frightened children who have been emotionally wounded. View them with love and compassion and the fearful little child will feel more secure. A secure person can let go of a tough façade.

From now on be totally resolved to see people in a positive light. See beyond any outer crust of mud and soil. See beyond the negative façade. See the precious inner soul that is pure and holy. This vision has the ability to create miracle transformations.

One of my students told me the following:

I was having a very difficult time with a few individuals. They were absolutely obnoxious when interacting with me. I tried smiling to them, but they just made fun of me. I consulted a warm and compassionate person who seemed to get along well with everyone.

"How are you able to get along with difficult people who so many others don’t get along with," I asked him.

"I never meet difficult people," he replied.

"What do you mean?" I asked perplexed. "I myself have seen you in friendly conversations with difficult people."

"No one is always difficult," he responded. "I see almost everyone as a caring friend of mine and that is how they respond. I still have to work on myself in this area. But I take responsibility of building up my positive view of those I still don’t view this way."

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Kindness is like music, art, sports or any other discipline -- it can only be mastered with practice, training, and lots and lots of encouragement. That is what PartnersInKindness.org is trying to promote.