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KIND WORDS Help The Same Person Over And Over Again
"The gift of Friendship" http://www.PartnersInKindness.orgThe author wishes to remain anonymous Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum Printed with Permission of My friend Kate called today to ask me if it was all right if her little sister, Debbie came along on our afternoon out at the local mall. I said "sure!" We entered through a department store and, after perusing the shoe section, headed over to the make-up counter. Debbie happens to be a terribly overweight child. When she saw me getting eye shadow applied by an employee of the store, she wanted some too. I asked the make-up artist to please help "my friend" find an eye shadow that was right for her. I noticed that Debbie was pleased that I referred to her as "my friend" and helped her to get the person's attention and assistance. Debbie loved her make-up because it made her look older and very sophisticated. Later, we stopped at a kiosk that sells hair straighteners and shows how the product works. If you buy the product, you may make an appointment to get your hair done for free there. The aggressive sales ladies were giving Debbie their whole routine, which involved straightening only a few pieces of hair, but not her whole head. I had made an appointment, not realizing that they were not going to do Debbie¢s hair. When I saw Debbie trying unsuccessfully to straighten her own hair using the flat irons, I politely asked the girl (there were two--one doing my hair and one who had been doing Debbie¢s but was now eating M&Ms) to please finish Debbie¢s hair. She told me that this was not a hair salon and Debbie was welcome to do it herself. I informed her that I knew how this business works. One chair and sales girl for a "try-it" chair and one for an appointment. She said she can't do the whole head of every person who sits down. That's not her job. I said I understood, however, could she please, just this once, finish Debbie¢s hair. It was so distressing that Debbie was sitting there, struggling with the flat iron, while the sales lady refused to finish. I was essentially begging, but nothing was working. Finally I said to the girl doing my hair, "You know what? Use what time you have left on Debbie and I'll finish off my hair myself. I do it all the time at home. I'll give you a larger tip." And so it was that this twelve-year old came home with a beautiful face of make-up and straight hair. And she was SO proud to show her mother and sisters. It was easy to see how much more confident she felt, especially when she heard how beautiful she looked. Her mother and sisters praised her new look. I was so glad that she had come with us today and told her so before I left. I know that "hanging out" with her older sister and friend meant a lot to her. ----------------------------------------------------------------- From: Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights By Zelig Pliskin Printed with Permission of Shaar Press Some people need your help only once in a while. Others will need your help over and over again. Each act of kindness is a separate entity of immense value. If you do a hundred acts of kindness, they are one hundred sources of light whether they were done to a hundred different people or to the same person. My students related these stories: I kept asking the same person to lend me money. I always paid back within a few days. I felt apprehensive about asking him again and again. After a while, I would apologize profusely, "I¢m sorry for bothering you so often." "It¢s not a bother," he replied. "If someone owns a business, he makes the same profit if the old customers keep buying from him as he would if each day there were new customers. I¢m glad to be able to lend you money whenever you need it. It¢s a source of pleasure for me and I don¢t consider it a bother at all. Please keep coming back to borrow whenever you need to. You don¢t have to look for a new person to ask. On the contrary, your asking me is a sign that you believe in my wanting to help you and I consider this a compliment and vote of confidence.¢¢ I was immensely relieved by his attitude. I realized that I would get annoyed if the same person bothered me again and again. I now became aware that I considered this a bother. This encounter taught me to be grateful to those who give me opportunities to become a kinder person. * * * I was depressed and going through a long period of stressful situations. I needed to call people for encouragement and strength. When I called on the phone, I could tell if they were thinking, "Oh no, not another time." When someone sounded sincerely happy to help me even though I called numerous times, I was extremely grateful. It was these good-hearted souls who saved my life.
* * * I had a close relative who was suffering from Alzheimer¢s disease. He would ask questions and forget the answers a few minutes later. I was finding it difficult to answer the same things over and over again.
I recalled an idea I heard about from an expert on self-improvement about a great sage who would repeat each idea to a slow student four hundred times. Once the student was distracted by someone who came to extend an invitation to his teacher. The sage said that he would go after he finished teaching his student. After the usual four hundred reviews, he asked his student if he understood that day¢s lesson. The student said that the thought of his teacher¢s imminent departure greatly distracted him and he couldn¢t concentrate as well as he usually did. "Don¢t worry," the teacher replied. "I¢ll repeat the idea even another four hundred times." Why did this great teacher spend so much time with this limited student? The expert on self-improvement explained that the teacher was improving in the attribute of patience each and every time he repeated an idea. These were four hundred exercises to integrate the trait of patience. This influenced me to become more patient with my relative both for his sake and my own. I felt good each time I repeated something. What was most amazing to me was the fact that I could now enjoy something that was previously a source of irritation. I hope to be able to apply this reframe in many areas of my life. Kind Words is a free weekly e-mail distributed by Partners In Kindness. The archive for Kind Words e-mails is located at: Although the content of these e-mails contains copyrighted material, Partners in Kindness allows users who register at our website to reprint them in print, on a website, or on an e-mail distribution list at no cost. If you have permission to reprint this e-mail, please ensure that you reprint the entire e-mail (including this notice). Names of people, places, and other details mentioned in these stories may have been changed to protect privacy. Kindness is like music, art, sports or any other discipline -- it can only be mastered with practice, training, and lots and lots of encouragement. That is what PartnersInKindness.org is trying to promote. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PartnersInKindness For further information, please visit our Website http://www.PartnersInKindness.org e-mail: info@... ----------------------------------------------------------------- To un-subscribe send a blank e-mail to: Kindness-unsubscribe@... To subscribe send a blank e-mail to: Kindness-subscribe@... |
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