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KIND WORDS The Power Of "What?" One Good Deed Can Last a Lifetime The author wishes to remain anonymous Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum Printed with Permission of http://www.PartnersInKindness.org An old man sat alone in the waiting area on the concourse in Denver, prior to the departure of the flight to Spokane. I sat across from him, and after exchanging tentative smiles, asked him if Spokane was his home. He said no, but he had, once every couple years or so, attempted to attend his grandson’s school games. He added, "This is probably the last, because I’m getting to old to travel." Soon all of us first class and "Premier Plus" members were allowed to pre-board and I thought about the old guy as I sat there waiting takeoff while others boarded in my first class seat, and when the old fella entered the plane, I exchanged tickets. He took my first class seat, muttering, "I’ve never been in first class." I think maybe even his eyes were a little wet. And it was SUCH a simple thing to do! I trooped back with his ticket, and sat squeezed into the middle seat in the cattle-class section at the very back of the plane. And honestly, I can’t say that I have ever had a more satisfying trip. This whole idea about acts of kindness, isn’t really for the other guy at all. I think it somehow helps our own soul to soar. There’s an old adage about the more you give, the more .... The Power Of "What?" From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights By Zelig Pliskin Printed with Permission of Shaar Press Utilize the power of the "What?" tool: * "What can I do for you?" * "What do you really want?" (Said in a tone that conveys the message: "I want to meet your real needs.") * "What do you need to make that happen?" * "What inner resources that you already have would enable you to accomplish more?" * "What changes would you like?" Repeat these five questions until they become automatic for you. The best way to repeat them often enough is to ask them frequently to others who would appreciate them. A previous section dealt with the power of "Why?" questions. There are many instances when "What?" questions are much more preferable. At times, "Why?" questions will get people even more stuck than they were before. "What?" questions can shed light on what needs to be done to improve a person and solve a situation. For example, "Why are you the way you are?" and, "Why do you have this fault?" can bolster the strength of limitations and faults. Compare that with asking: • "What can you do to improve?" • "What would motivate you to overcome that fault?" • "What thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs would improve the emotional quality of your life and enable you to experience more joy?" • "What actions can you take that would help you make the changes that you would want?" • "What strengths would you need to create new and better patterns of behavior?" Advocates of using more "What?" questions than, "Why?" questions have calculated that it can take as much time to answer a "What can be done now?" as it would to answer a, "Why am I limited or stuck?" Even after you know why you are as deficient as you are, you still need to do something about it. So if a "What?" question will do the job, it’s not a worthwhile investment to spend too long a time on the "Why?" At times, only by knowing why something is the way it is will we be able to figure out what we need to do now. Then, of course, it’s imperative to answer the "Why?" question before trying to solve the issue of, "What should I do now?" Some people spend months and months, even years trying to understand why they are the way they are. They use this as an excuse for not changing. "I’m the same as I always was," they proudly say, "But now I know why I am the way I am." The "What?" question to keep foremost in our mind is: "What can I do for this person?" You might not always come up with an immediate answer. But being on the lookout for what you can do will inevitably enable you to find things that you wouldn’t have noticed or realized without having asked this question. ----------------------------------------------------------------- On the Radio Worldwide
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Kind Words is a free weekly e-mail distributed by Partners In Kindness. The archive for Kind Words e-mails is located at: Although the content of these e-mails contains copyrighted material, Partners in Kindness allows users who register at our website to reprint them in print, on a website, or on an e-mail distribution list at no cost. If you have permission to reprint this e-mail, please ensure that you reprint the entire e-mail (including this notice). Names of people, places, and other details mentioned in these stories may have been changed to protect privacy. Kindness is like music, art, sports or any other discipline -- it can only be mastered with practice, training, and lots and lots of encouragement. That is what PartnersInKindness.org is trying to promote. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PartnersInKindness For further information, please visit our Website http://www.PartnersInKindness.org e-mail: info@... ----------------------------------------------------------------- To un-subscribe send a blank e-mail to: Kindness-unsubscribe@... To subscribe send a blank e-mail to: Kindness-subscribe@...
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