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KIND WORDS
Joy For Kindness
The author wishes to remain anonymous
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of
http://www.PartnersInKindness.org
A group of women in my community prepare meals for mourners and their families during the week after the burial of the deceased. I was helping to arrange the scheduling for an older neighbor who lost her husband. Many people offered to make meals.
The woman told me that her granddaughter was coming to visit and would be bringing meals on one of the days, so she asked me if I could please cancel the meals that I had arranged for her family for that day.
She explained to me that she knew how much effort went into preparing the meal for the mourner and asked that the women who had already prepared it please do
another act of kindness with the meal such as to use it themselves and spend more time with their family or help one of their married children.
When I spoke to one of the women who had prepared food for that day and asked that she do an act of kindness for her married children instead, she told me that it was exactly what she needed to hear, since her own grown daughter wasn't feeling well and she was sure that the meal would be very appreciated at her daughter's house.
When I told the mourners about this they were even more comforted than they would have been by the extra food---knowing that another kindness had been done in the merit of her husband.
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"Joy For Kindness"
From Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press
Experiencing joy for doing acts of kindness for others will increase the quantity and quality of your kind acts. When you enjoy doing things to help others, you will always be able to find enjoyable things to do. The life of a person who loves to do acts of kindness will be a life of joy.
You may reason that it’s selfish to feel joyous for helping others. Put yourself in the position of the recipient of kind deeds or words.
Wouldn’t you prefer that the people who are kind to you feel good about what they accomplish? Compare the following thoughts that might be going through the minds of someone who is doing something to help you.
Consider these responses:
"I hate wasting my time with this person. Why is he bothering me? Why can’t he just leave me alone. I can’t wait until he gets out of here."
-- or --
"I love to spend my time helping this person. I’m so glad that he asked me to assist him. I feel so good in being able to do acts of kindness that I hope he asks me another time."
Of course, we all feel better when someone who goes out of their way to help us enjoys what he is doing.
What if you don’t spontaneously feel joy for the kind acts that you do? Think of the positive spiritual effects your words and actions have on you. Be aware of how you are elevating yourself and becoming a better person. Imagine the good
feelings you would have if someone helped you in the way that you are helping this person. By entering his world and feeling what he is feeling you gain a greater appreciation for what you are doing. Some people find this easier to do than others. But as you begin to experience this even a tiny bit, you are increasing your ability to do so.
Imagine feeling intense joy. Think of an event, a situation, or an occurrence that would make you feel really great. See what you would see, hear what you would hear and feel what you would feel. Now increase the intensity of what you would see, hear, and feel. Allow yourself to access these feelings when you do acts of kindness. If you aren’t able to do this at first, keep trying. Your persistence will eventually enable you to experience increased joy for doing acts of kindness.
I once met a person who seemed extremely happy every time he did an act of kindness.
"Did your joy for doing
kindness come naturally to you?" I asked him.
"Definitely not," he replied. "If my joy came naturally I don’t think it would be as strong as it is now. I have to admit that I really am selfish and I had to make a concerted effort to create a joyous attitude. What worked for me was the thought, ‘If I just won a major international lottery how would I react?’ I would celebrate with my entire being and would be extremely excited and euphoric. I vividly paint a mental picture of my hearing the great news. Then I think of how the value of kindness is even greater than winning a lottery. This intense joy becomes associated in my mind with doing kindness. Now my joy is automatic and I don’t need to do anything special to create it."
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