KIND WORDS
How Have You Solved This In The Past?

Sarah's Gift - A Gift of Comfort for Children with Cancer
Written by Kathy Browning
Edited by Shmuel Greenbaum
Printed with Permission of http://www.partnersinkindness.org

Life has a way of taking you places you never expected. When my best friend was diagnosed with leukemia in 2001, I never expected to create a business for cancer patients. At the time, I owned a corporate gift basket business and didn't know much about cancer.

My friend received many gift baskets she could not enjoy because they contained scented products and the scents made her ill. She suggested I create a line of gifts for cancer patients and the "Daily Comfort Kit" was born.

During this time, I began searching for information on cancer. I became frustrated because I could not find everything located in one place and that experience led to the creation of "Cancer Comfort" -- an online cancer resource center. While searching for resources to add to the web site, I discovered an organization that connects individuals to angel cancer patients. I applied and was soon assigned to angel a 12-year-old girl named Sarah.

This was Sarah's third diagnosis of leukemia and she was preparing to undergo a bone marrow transplant in August at Seattle Children's Hospital. During a phone conversation with Sarah's mom, she suggested I create a kit for children with cancer. I had Sarah create a wish list of everything that would help make things more comfortable and fun, and the journey of "Sarah's Gift" began.

Sarah came up with the idea to package the gift in a backpack, so the children could transport their IV bag and pump with discretion and ease. A wolf was embroidered on the front pocket (a symbol of protection) and the words "Sarah's Gift" underneath.

We included personal care products and comfort items, as well as resources and products for the caregiver. As we progressed on the creation of "Sarah's Gift", the idea to donate kits to all the children on Sarah's unit popped into my head. A fundraising plan was implemented, which would allow me to reach the goal of donating 40 kits to Seattle Children's Hospital.

Things were going well. Sarah was getting better every day and at the beginning of March, nearly 80% of the funds had been raised. Then life changed. On March 8, 2004, Sarah lost her battle with leukemia.

Sarah's family held a "Celebration of Life" memorial on March 26th and invited me to attend. I was able to obtain the rest of the funds and present the gifts to the children at SCH on March 26th. It was bittersweet, as I had always envisioned Sarah standing next to me and passing out her gift. However, I know Sarah was with me in spirit and was pleased that we had reached our goal. A documentary of "Sarah's Gift" is presented at http://www.cancercomfort.net/cancercomfort/id104.html

Cancer Comfort has joined forces with Cognigen to create a perpetual fundraising system, which will allow us to provide "Sarah's Gift" to children with cancer, across the U.S. It's a wonderful program that allows individuals to obtain great prices on all their telecommunication needs and products to run an efficient business, while contributing to our favorite cause at no additional cost to them. To learn more, visit http://www.sarahsgift.com.

Kathy Browning is the founder of CancerComfort.com, an online cancer resource center for anyone whose life has been touched by cancer.


How Have You Solved This In The Past?
From: Kindness: Making a Difference in People's Lives: Formulas, stories, and insights
By: Zelig Pliskin
Printed with Permission of Shaar Press

Many people who have specific problems have already solved similar problems in the past. When they are stuck in the problem, they are not in touch with how their previous actions can be utilized to solve it. You have a user-friendly tool to help them remember what they have already done before.

When someone is stuck in an unresourceful groove, he is not likely to recall how he accessed and created more resourceful states in the past. You can ask, "Right now scan your entire life history and answer this question, ‘What have you done in the past to access the state you wish to be in now?’" Or you can ask, "When have you felt this way before? What enabled you to overcome those feelings?"

If someone is having a difficult time interacting with a specific person, you can ask, "When have you interacted well with this person? What did you do then?" Or you can ask, "Think of a similar person with whom with you have interacted well. What was your approach?"

If someone is in a slump in any area of their life, you can ask, "What have you done to overcome previous slumps?"

There will surely be new problems and new situations that this person has never before dealt with. Also, solutions that previously proved effective might not work now. But this is the easiest way to start.

Someone may have suffered from depression in the past, and is currently feeling depressed again. This state is not conducive to clear thinking. Whenever he experienced these feelings, he felt much better after three miles run and doing an act of kindness that was special. The exercise cleared his mind and he could think about ways to solve the issues that were weighing on him. The acts of kindness made him feel better about himself. The question, "What have you done in the past to feel better?" will remind him of the benefits of his exercising and his acts of kindness. Another friend might have spoken with a specific counselor who was very helpful. At this stressful manner, he does not recall this. Your asking, "What has helped you before?" will remind him how much he benefited.

A friend of yours might usually be very creative. His creativity is the means by which he earns a living. He calls and says, "I think I lost my creativity. I haven’t been able to think of anything original for over two weeks." Ask him, "Think of times in the past when you found it difficult to be creative. What exactly helped you regain it?" It might have been a brief vacation. It might have been a visit to a particular location where he could think clearly. It might have been a trip to a garden, a library, or a discussion with another creative person.

When I am speaking to someone who is angry at another person and wishes to overcome this feeling, I frequently say, "Think of a specific time in the past when you were angry at this person or at another person and let go of that anger. "What did you think, say, or do to overcome that anger?" Since there are many approaches to overcoming anger, this enables you to find an approach that this person relates to and it is often effective in the present.

* * *

A professional counselor who teaches non-professionals basic counseling skills related, "One of the first things I teach them is to ask people in a crisis, ‘How have you solved a similar situation in the past?’ One of the trainees said that he was faced with someone who was totally discouraged and didn’t feel like living. At first the counselor felt that this called for someone with more experience. But then he remembered to ask the question. The person who was totally discouraged said that he had felt this way at least five times before. He elaborated on the different things that he did to revitalize himself. It was amazing how quickly this helped get the person into a much healthier frame of mind.

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