I was standing by the counter of a coffee bar near my home yesterday when a woman came in and told the manager that she had run out of cash and asked if she could pay with a check. When the manager told her that she could not, I offered to buy her whatever she wanted. She was so pleasantly surprised when she refused. So I offered her again.

Although the woman did not take me up on my offer, it made both of our days. She looked happier after I made my offer and I felt great just to offer my help, even if she did not take me up on it. It taught us both how a kind gesture can bring joy.

I may not have thought of it if I did not get the "Daily Dose of Kindness" email from you every day.

There was a famous study designed to illustrate the power of our sense of identity.

"Can we place this large billboard with the words: DRIVE CAREFULLY on your front lawn?" a number of homeowners were asked. Unbeknown to them the question was posed by a student working on a research project.

Understandably, most people answered, "No." They didn’t want unsightly signs on their expensive front lawns.

This same request was then posed in two steps. The house owners were asked, "Are you for safe driving?" Everyone replied, "Of course, yes."

"Then would you please sign this petition for safe driving." Most agreed to sign.

Several weeks later those who signed were approached again. "You signed a declaration that you are for safe driving. Are you still for safe driving today?"

"Yes. I haven’t changed my mind," was the unanimous response.

"Since you are a person who cares about safe driving, could you please allow us to place this billboard with a DRIVE CAREFULLY message on your front lawn?"

Most agreed. Why? Because once they identified themselves as individuals who cared about safe driving, they acted consistently with their new identity. Previously even if they agreed, they might have done so reluctantly. Now that they were acting in a way consistent with their identity as being concerned about safe driving, they felt good about doing their part to help save lives. This principle applies to all areas.

On our subject, the principle can be stated: Identify yourself as a person who is kind and caring and you will spontaneously upgrade your level of kindness.

There are many instances when you will have opportunities to do acts of kindness for others but might not be open to do them. At times you might not recognize the opportunity. At other times, you just won’t feel like doing the kind deed. Or you might not feel like it’s incumbent upon you to speak up.

When you identify yourself as a person who loves kindness, you will notice opportunities you hadn’t noticed before. You will feel like doing acts of kindness you didn’t feel like doing before. And you will always feel that it’s up to you to do as much good as you can throughout your life.

As you develop your love for kindness, you will view yourself as a person with a life goal to help others. You might not choose to share this with others. But in your heart you will know that this is who you are.