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[Starting in Chapter 2, there is homework. If you are interested, please let me know.]
Specifying Targets for Change
Focus on target behavior to be changed, not results of desired change in behavior, e.g., eating behavior, not weight loss.
Specifying Behaviors-in-Situations
Tactic 1: Make a list of concrete examples
Tactic 2: List the details of your problem
Tactic 3: Observe your behavior, don't speculate about it.
When You're Not Doing What You Want to Be Doing
Tactic 4: Specify not only the situation and the fact that the desirable behavior is not occurring, but also the behaviors that occurs instead of the ones you want.
Getting Rid of Undesirable Behavior
Tactic 5: Your strategy should always be to increase some desirable behavior
When You Aren't Sure What to Do
Tactic 6: Specify the chain of events that will lead to the goal
Tactic 7: Observe people who are successful at what you are trying to do, and then try their tactics yourself.
Tactic 8: Think of several alternative solutions to the problem and then select one or more to implement
When You Think Your Goal Isn't Behavior Change
Tactic 9: Even if your goal is not a specific behavior, reaching the goal will require changing -- subtracting or adding -- certain behaviors
The Evolution of Goals
Goals evolve, especially in the early stages of observing. Keep asking: "What is the target I should be working on ?" and "What techniques should I use to reach that target ?"
Anticipating Obstacles
Be ready for setbacks
Expect Mistakes
Mistakes do not doom your effort. Old habits die hard. "How should I respond to my errors ?"
Take a Skills Development Attitude
"What does my success or mistake show me that I have learned so far ?" Mistakes are feedback about the need for more practice of something.
Prepare for Temptations
Avoid tempting situations. Start by making it easy on your new desired behavior. Ask others not to tempt you. Ask for support from others, for example, through a public commitment. Find alternative good things that reduce the temptation (Drinking water can fill you up, making you a little less hungry.) Distract yourself. Remind yourself of your goal. Remind yourself that it was your choice to get started on the self-improvement project. Remind yourself of delayed negative consequences of unwanted behavior. Prepare a written list of self-reminders for when temptation strikes. Ask others to remind you (not to punish you).
Self-Efficacy Beliefs
Your previous efforts that didn't bring success may discourage you. Your belief that you can realistically succeed will make you try harder, use better problem-solving, be less distracted, persist longer, and not give up when things go wrong. Early progress will help. Focus is not on whether one can achieve the ultimate goal, but whether one can do the steps that you believe will get there.
How to Increase Your Self-Efficacy Beliefs
1. Pick a project that you believe that you can do
2. Focus on the process of change, not the final goal. [NAs!!!]
3. Discriminate between your past efforts and your present project. (After all, this is the first time you've tried this well-developed method. It's NOT yet another self-help book [YASHB])
4. Keep records on the process. Look for the early indicators of progress in sticking to the program.
5. Expect that your emotions may lower your self-efficacy beliefs, but that the effect is temporary. Observe the effect of your emotions
6. Make a list of the specific situations which may cause the greatest difficulty. Start with the easy ones and work up.
Becoming Optimistic
Optimism is good for you and your success and it can be learned !!!
1. Write down reasons why you will be successful at your project.
2. Monitor your thinking for negative thoughts.
Putting Goals in Focus
Ambivalence: Pros and Cons of Changing
Advantages of your current behavior should not be underestimated. Change can lead to other issues. Make a list of the short- and long-term pros and cons of the change project. This helps you anticipate obstacles to change so you can overcome them, to be realistic, and to plan ahead.
Stages in Your Thoughts about Changing
1. Precontemplation (not thinking about change)
2. Contemplation (thinking about it and putting your toe in the water)
3. Preparation (get ready for change in the next month)
4. An action period (may include relapse)
5. Maintenance period (including coping with errors)
Set Goals and Make Plans to Reach Them
Short-term goals provide the start and long-term goals keep you going. Long-term goal, then sub-goals. Sub-goals should be specific, but flexible, and at least somewhat challenging and worthwhile, but attainable.
Conflicts between Short-Term and Long-Term Goals
Habit takes over when you are not paying attention to long-term goals. Rewards are immediate, punishment is delayed for problem behavior. Mental effort of self-control can lead to fatigue, especially when you are tired generally.
Relating Your Target Goals to Life Goals
Universal goals: positive emotions (happy, relaxed); positive self-evaluations; feeling connected to others; being physically active and energetic.
Do You Intend to Do the Work of Changing ?
If you can't say yes, revisit all phases of your project.
The Self-Contract
Put the goal in writing. Statement of intent, signed.
Dennis C. During
"To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt." - Elizabeth Cady Stanton, American women's rights advocate (1815-1902)
"What is not surrounded by uncertainty cannot be the truth." - Richard P. Feynman, Nobelist, physicist, raconteur, bongo player, safe-cracker
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