You remember cargo pants - Those long shorts with lots of extra pockets. I wore them all of the time, with keys, wallet, iPod, Palm Pilot, phone and whatever else to carry. Nobody seems to be making them any more - I blame the iPhone. I carry the iPhone in one pocket, and my keys and wallet in the other.
I have no need to carry any other small, hand-held or electronic object, either. iPhones, with their built-in hardware and 50,000 applications (most of which are free), replace so much more:
* READING GLASSES/MAGNIFYING GLASS. Not only do I use my iPhone to read menus at restaurants if I forget my glasses, I also went to Settings -> General -> Accessibility > Zoom and turned it on. Now, if I'm pulled over to the side of the road and want to read the tiny instructions leding me to a client's house, I double-tap the screen using three fingers, and I can see whatever is on the screen REALLY BIG and super-clear.
* PAGER - Haven't seen one of those in a while, have we?
* DAYRUNNER - I keeps ALL of my appointments in my calendar program, and always set it to use TWO alarms... One 24 hours beforehand, saying "2PM Wednesday Doctor Appointment", and another one, one before the appointment to remind me again. Since I have iCal set up properly on my Mac, my iPhone also automatically keeps me apprised of holidays and birthdays.
* PHOTO ALBUM. I use this CONSTANTLY to show off my recent artistic endeavors, and to make a point about something I'm explaining.
* BOOKS - I have probably a dozen audiobooks on my iPhone, and several dozen Kindle e-books. Since Kindle stopped the annoying left-and-right justification, the reading is comfortable as heck. I read myself to sleep every night.
* STILL CAMERA - NO camera, no matter how expensive and fully-featured, is worth a warm bucket of spit if you don't have it available when the time is right. When the Forth Worth Police recently raided a bar and then made outrageous claims as to why somebody ended up in the hospital with blood on the brain, the other bar patrons immediately provided photographic proof that the cops were lying.
* VIDEO CAMERA. Ditto. How many of us have perfectly nice video cameras that are of no earthly use, because they are somewhere in the closet? I went to the dog park with a neighbor who has a four-month-old Great Dane puppy. I shot several video clips, and immediately uploaded them, and sent the web-link via email to the puppy's owner without even leaving the dog park. Our expensive, high-definition video camera can do a far better job, but it never occurred to me to want to shoot video until I saw how happy little Olivia was. I went to Las Vegas recently, and it was time for the big volcano on the Strip to erupt. Big crowds had gathered, ready to enjoy the show, and I was struck by how I couldn't see anybody holding an actual, classic-style video camera - Everybody was holding up little flat objects with big, bright screens. The future is here.
* THOMAS BROTHERS MAP BOOK - Google Maps on the iPhone works 100% of the time, except when it doesn't. I was annoyingly late to a new client's home yesterday, because Google Maps LIED to me, repeatedly, pointing me to streets and turns that simply didn't exist. To be fair, it was a new development, and several streets had changed names in the last few months, but it points to the fact that we are SPOILED. We expect rock-solid, factual information because we get it so often. This was the only timer Google Maps has ever gotten it wrong for me, in stark contrast to Mapquest, which seldom gave good travel information.
* CALCULATOR - Not just the plain old calculator, but also the free, dedicated tip calculator software called CheckPlease. It's great for those nights when you need help figuring out how much everybody at the table needs to contribute so that the stressed-out waiter gets a decent, appropriate tip.
* VOICE RECORDER - Why buy one of those little handheld audio recorders? It's so easy to make voice memos or to record an interview, now that the iPhone's built-in software 3.0 supports it.
* WALKMAN - THERE'S an antique concept.
* TV/VCR - No, these aren't handheld, nor can the iPhone show live broadcasts. But it's extremely satisfying to load 49 half-hour TV episodes onto a 32-gigabyte iPhone and not even fill it half full. The screen quality is exquisite. The shocking part for most people comes when I show the TV show playing on the iPhone's screen, and then take out a standard-size business card and lay it on top of the still-playing video. The screen SEEMS much bigger, but it's smaller than a business card!
* POCKET WATCH OR WRIST WATCH - With my ape-like, hairy arms, I'm never comfortable wearing a wristwatch. I have several of them in a drawer. Sweaty, itchy uncomfortable. Now, not only does the iPhone show the time, it shows ACCURATE time, and I never have to adjust it, wind it, or hang around jeweler's shops trying to locate rare watch batteries.
* NEWSPAPER - I get my information fresh every day, as I want it, using Google Reader. I have it bookmarked on my iPhone's home page. It's the fastest thing on my iPhone, and I subscribe to over 100 website RSS feeds. I don't have to deal with ads, or clicking around trying to find out if new information has been published.
* COMPASS - This is not something I used a lot before, but I look forward to GPS programs that take full advantage of the magnetometer, turning the maps to match the screen's orientation.
* FLASHLIGHT - Plenty of free applications, but I use it mostly by using the screen's light to see if there's a big, black dog laying at the foot of the dark stairs. I feel terrible if I step on one of our big doofuses.
* ATM - I use Chase's website (which automatically reformats itself to match the iPhone's abilities) when I'm waiting in line at Costco. I've unwittingly bounced checks at Costco a couple of times, and they get really crappy about it. You have to come in, WITH CASH, otherwise your Costco card remains locked. So, if I'm not sure that I have enough in my account, I go to Chase's website, put in my password, tap "Transfers", and with a total of five taps of my finger, I have transferred funds and signed out, and those funds are ready for me by the time I've reached the cash register.
* GAMES. Infinite choices. I could even use the concept of BABYSITTER, because there is nothing so useful for calming down a rowdy youngster than handing them an iPhone with Pocket God loaded and ready.
* REMOTE CONTROL - Not in all cases, but at least when controlling our AppleTV. It's very useful, and I can't wait until Apple comes up with more remote control capabilities.
* STOCK TICKER - The free, built-in software is great for those who use it.
* ROLODEX - I have 1,200 people in my address book, and not only do I have all of their information with me, my iPhone adds them to the built-in spell checker, so I don't misspell people's names.
* ACCOUNTING BOOKS AND PAPERWORK - Quicken is fully iPhone-friendly now, so you always have all of your financial stats available wherever you are, easily updated on the fly without having to wait until you get home and in the right mood.
* WORKOUT CLIPBOARD - Just go to the App Store and look for Fitness... TONS of choices! Also, the iPhone replaces a PEDOMETER. The newest iPhones have the Nike hardware built-in, so all that you need is a cheap adapter to keep perfect records of your aerobic exercise.
* POST-IT NOTES - Now that the Notes application on the iPhone synchronizes with the Mac's Mail program, I can keep track of the same lists of items and ideas on both items accurately.
What did I miss?
WHERE'S MY TRICORDER, APPLE!??!? I'm sorry, no, this simply isn't good enough...
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