Winders 98




It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama
edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside
Alabama. If you have one of the Alabama editions you may need some
help understanding the commands.

The Alabama edition may be recognized by looking at the opening
screen.
It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Lee
superimposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke
screen saver. Also note the Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse, My
Computer
is called This Infernal Contraption, Dialup Networking is called
Good Ol' Boys, Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard, Hard
Drive
is referred to as 4 Wheel Drive, and floppies are them little ole
plactic disc thangs.

Other features:

Instead of an error message you get a winder covered with a garbage
bag and duct tape.

OK = ats aww-right
cancel = hail no
reset = awa shoot
yes = shore
no = Naaaa
find = hunt-fer it
go to = over yonder
back = back yonder
help = hep me out here
stop = ternit off
start = crank 'er up
settings = sittins
programs = stuff that does stuff
documents = stuff I done did

Also note that Winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or
punctuation marks.

Some programs that are exclusive to Winders 98 (Alabama version):

tiperiter........... A word processor
colering book....... a graphics program
addin mershene...... calculator
outhouse paper ..... notepad
jupe-box ........... CD Player
iner-net............ Microsoft Explorer
pichers............. A graphics viewer
IRS................. M/S accounting software
coon dog............ American kennel club records
fishin.............. Bass Anglers Sportsman Society
NRA................. National Rifle Association
shot gun ........... Remington Arms price list
raffel.............. Winchester price list
pistel.............. Smith & Wesson price list
truck............... Ford & Chevrolet dealers in AL
house............... Nearest Mobile home repair service
core network........ Used Car listing for AL
cuzzins............. family history usually a 1kb file
tax records......... usually an empty file
shells.............. ammunition inventory
bud................. list of Budweiser dealers in AL
rasin............... NASCAR racing schedule
Parts............... nearest Junk yard by zip code
doc ................ veterinarians in AL
thesaurus........... Barney's home page
spell check......... Physicians visit schedule
highlight........... Chandelier outlets

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy
of the Alabama edition of Windows 98. You may return it to Microsoft
for a replacement version.