----- Original Message -----

From: m_sureshrao

To: format4nz@...

Sent: Saturday, March 21, 2009 5:51 PM

Subject: Your invitation from suresh rao is about to expire

On February 2, suresh rao from your Windows_humor group sent you an invitation to join Grouply so you can see their profile, friends, and list of groups.

On Friday (March 27), this invitation will expire. Follow this link to accept suresh rao's invitation.

http://www.grouply.com/register?rem=61267759

Signing up is free and takes less than a minute.
====================
Block Grouply Invites | Mark as SPAM

This reminder email is sent by an automatic process triggered by system maintenance. This is the only email message you will receive from Grouply about the expiration of this invitation from suresh rao. To block all emails from Grouply, click here or send an email to blocklist@... with subject "unsubscribe-Lj0V%2BTmrycfdVCNYtiGtdgilvak1PigDRe%2BhlEdsvzPOCoIu6RpU".

Grouply, 495 Seaport Court, Suite 103, Redwood City, CA 94063

From: Tom F <tc01302@yahoo. com>
To: sharingalaugh@ yahoogroups. com
Sent: Tuesday, December 9, 2008 5:25:15 AM
Subject: FW: vista error messages

The following are new Error Messages planned for Windows
Vista:

1) Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
2) Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
3) Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
4) Press any key... no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
5) Press Ctrl-Alt-Del now for IQ test.
6) Close your eyes and press escape three times.
7) Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
8) This will end your Windows session. Do you want
to play another game?
9) Windows message: "You have just made a type
mismatch! Shall I format your brain?"
10) This is a message from God: "Rebooting the
universe, please log off."
11) Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.
12) BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port
not responding.
13) COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup and press
any key.
14) CONGRESS.SYS corrupted... Re-boot
Washington D.C? (Y/N)
15) File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
16) Bad or missing mouse driver. Spank the
cat? (Y/N)
17) Runtime Error 6D at 417 A:32CF:
Incompetent User.
18) Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY
one? (Y/N)
19) WinErr 547: LPT1 not found... Use backup...
PENCIL & PAPER.
20) User Error: Replace user.
21) Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "OS/2 found:
Remove it? (Y/Y)"
22) Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic.
Evidence Nuker Software will permanently delete
everything you want erased.

----- Original Message -----

U may have seen it before but it is worth a laugh


This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!  If you skip
any, you have to read the last one!  Unbelievable, but supposedly all
true!!!!

=================================
Tech support:   What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer:   A white one...
===============

Customer:   Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support:  Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer:  Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support:  That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer:  No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on
my desk... sorry.....
===============

Tech support:  Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:  Your left or my left?
===============

Tech support:  Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer:   Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start'  for me and.
Customer:  Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill
Gates.
===============

Customer:  Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I
try, it says 'Can't find printer'.  I've even lifted the printer and placed
it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
============== =

Customer:  I have problems printing in red...
Tech support:  Do you have a color printer?
Customer:  Aaaah...................thank you.
===============

Tech support:  What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:   A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
===============

Customer:   My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support:  Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer:  No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support:  Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back..
Customer:!   OK
Tech support:   Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another
keyboard?
Customer:  Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
===============

Tech support:   Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital
letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer:  Is that 7 in capital letters ?
===============

Customer:  can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:  Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer:  Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support:  Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer:  Five stars.
===============

Tech support:   What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer:  Netscape.
Tech support:  That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:  Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
===============

Customer:   I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my
computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===============

Tech support:  How may I help you?
Customer:  I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support:  OK,  and what seems to be the problem?
Customer:  Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the
circle around it?
===============



A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer..
Tech support:  Are you running it under windows?
Customer:  'No, my desk is next to the door, hi.  The man sitting in the
cubicle next to me is under a window, and his  printer is working fine.'
===============

And last but not least...

Tech support: 'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the
same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type
the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer:  I don't have a P.
Tech support:  On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer:   What do you mean?
Tech support:  'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer:  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!










Discover the new Windows Vista Learn more!




Discover the new Windows Vista Learn more!

Computer Problem   I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Jimmy the computer guy, to come over.   Jimmy clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?" He replied, "It was an ID ten T error." I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that . in case I need to fix it again?" The computer guy grinned....   "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?" "No," I replied. "Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out." So I wrote out ........ I D 1 0 T

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

--

A few of the new error messages that were taken under consideration
during the development of the Windows XP operating system...

• Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.

• Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

• BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.

• Close your eyes and press escape three times.

• File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

• Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.

• Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

• Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

• Windows message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"

• Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Bill Gates all died in a plane crash and
went to meet their maker. The supreme deity turned to Al and asked,
tell what is important about yourself.

Al responded that he felt that the earth was the ultimate importance
and that protecting the earth's ecological system was most important.
God looked to Al and said, " I like the way you think, come and sit at
my left hand".

God then asked Bill Clinton what he revered most. Bill Clinton
responded that he felt people and their personal choices were most
important. God responded, " I like the way you think, come and sit at
my right hand".

God then turned to Bill Gates, who was staring at him indignantly. God
asked "What is your problem Bill Gates?"

Bill Gates responded " I think you are sitting in my chair".

At COMDEX Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with
the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like
the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar
cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating (by Mr. Welch himself):

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics:

• For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

• Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to
buy a new car.

• Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and
you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

• Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause
your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would
have to reinstall the engine.

• Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable,
five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but it would only run
on five percent of the roads.

• The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be
replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

• New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

• The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

• Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out
and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lift the door
handle, turn the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

• GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of
Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither
need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more.
Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice
Department.

• Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn
how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate
in the same manner as in the old car.

• You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.