I don't know why you picked this site, whoever you are, but STOP!

Anyway, here's a quote from Adi Da:

"In the Bhagavad Gita Krishna described various forms of meditation
similar to what Jesus communicated to his disciples. But he
ultimately told Arjuna, they are not Truth. They are not God,
therefore abandon all supports, abandon all dharmas, gross, subtle
and causal....everything bodily, everything mental, everything egoic,
everything associated with the definition of consciousness, of the
sense of independent being. And turn to Me. Be present as
unobstructed absolute feeling attention. That itself is the God
vision, that is God communion. It does not have a vision associated
with it. It has no object. It has no psychic form. it has no physical
form. It is simply a feeling intuition, which if you enter into it
most absolutely is total bliss and freedom. It is an absolute
intuition of your Condition that Liberates you from mortality and
fear and separation. If you will enter into this Communion, if you
will on it's basis, seeing that it is Truth, the absolute position,
then fight. Remember me, contain yourself in this Communion, persist
in it, and then absolutely transform everything. Make a sacred
occasion out of all of your possibilities.

The ultimate message of all of the Teachers of mankind is not a
visionary message, you see. It's not an ascetic message. It's not a
message about the inversion of attention. It's not a message about
the terribleness of life, about the ultimate mortality of ordinary
things. It's not a message about what may be attained in time and
over time if you persist in a certain practice. It is not a message
about the concrete divinity of any experience, even of the most
ascended mystical variety. It is a message about the present and
radical nature of God Realization. It is simply a matter of love, of
absolute feeling attention without obstruction."