Hi, I'm recently new to this group. I joined after I read this post.
This post could have been written by me.

My boyfriend of 6 months also has 3 girls (ages: 17, 14 & 8) from a
previous marriage and I have a son and daughter myself from a previous
marriage. He has been divorced from his ex since his youngest was a
few months old which was 8 years ago. I've known him for almost 12
years through business. I've only met her once when they were married.

He used to have joint physical custody of all three girls, but she's
modified the court papers so many times that he only has joint
physical of the youngest. Their mother has sole custody of the 2
oldest. It's been hard for him to fight for his kids because he is not
wealthly, unlike her. She makes anywhere between 120k and 160k a year
so it's easy for her to pay for a high powered attorney. Not only
that, she has brained-wash the two oldest into believing lies about
their father such as allegations of abuse towards her. He hasn't seen
them for five years because of all her lies. He only sees the youngest
every other weekend and one night during the week. He gets depressed
sometimes and I am so saddened at the fact that she is so cruel and
won't let him be happy.

Since each one of his kids came home from the hospital as newborns, he
took care of them while she went back to work as a VP for a company.
Even after they divorced, he still took care of them while she went to
work. So they used to be able to communicate, but once he started
dating and she got remarried a year after the divorce she started
giving him a hard time. She even modified how they are to communicate
about the children: through email! Nor can he bring their daughter to
the front door of her house. He has to park at the end of a long drive-
way and she has to walk to the house.

By the grace of God, he has been sober for 11 years through AA and has
met his child-support obligations. He feels that she resents the fact
that she couldn't get him sober and that AA helped him. Like another
gentleman said in an earlier group post, he realized once he became
sober they were together for the wrong reasons. She, herself, smokes
marijuana everyday. In fact, the 8 year caught her a couple of years
ago. Yet the ex uses his alcoholism against him in court. Does anyone
know if my boyfriend could request her to have mandatory drug tests
through the court?

We also have learned today that she hired a private investigator to
follow him around. For what!? This makes me so sick to my stomach that
someone could be so spiteful! And I feel like my life is under a
microscope as well now.

He is a wonderful man who deserves to be happy. He treats my children
as if they were his own and he treats me like a princess, probably the
best any man has ever treated me.

All I have been able to do is support him, listen to his frustrations,
and do research on the internet (that's how I found this group), yet
it seems that there is not enough protection for fathers' rights. I
have an associates degree in criminal justice, but it's not enough
knowledge in how to deal with these kind of ex-spouses or to help him.
I feel so helpless myself.

Thanks for listening to me vent. If anyone has any suggestions please
respond to this post and if I have any advise for anyone else I will
try to respond likewise.

Thanks, Heather



--- In divorceandcustody@yahoogroups.com, "alturnbu" <alturnbu@...>
wrote:
>
> I am a girlfriend of a man thats 3 children and I have a son as
well.
> My relationship w/ my x is good.
> But they have one where the woman wants to chew him up and spit him
out.
> Why is it that her life revolves around him being miserable. He
works
> so much just to support his kids and new family that we have now. He
> does not even get to see his kids and in that is where she puts him
> down. She says he is a loser b/c he does not get his kids every
other
> weekend. He works to please then gets put down and I wish he can be
> happy and have a good life. he deserves that, b/c he is such a good
> man. To me and his kids.
>