http://www.seedmagazine.com/news/2005/11/the_other_id.php

The Other I.D.

An interview with Don Wise, creator of "incompetent design"

by Maggie Wittlin • Posted November 15, 2005 06:25 PM

Don Wise, professor emeritus of geosciences at the University of
Massachusetts Amherst, is the nation's foremost proponent of ID.
No, Wise isn't getting ready to testify on behalf of the school
board in Dover, PA. Rather, he advocates for a different version
of the acronym: "incompetent design."

Wise cites serious flaws in the systems of the human body as
evidence that design in the universe exhibits not an obvious
source of, but a sore lack of, intelligence. Seed asked him to
chat about his theory, reactions he's received to it, and the
anthem he penned to rally people to his cause.

-- Regarding incompetent design, why is the creator not intelligent?

I didn't say that! We don't get into religion. The last thing
we want to do is get into arguments of religion, a creator and
so on. We're just: "Is there, or is there not, intelligence in
the design?"

-- So is there intelligence in the design?

Yes! No, no there isn't. The thing that perhaps is closest to
all of us is our own skeleton, and there are certainly all
kinds of stupidity in our design. No self-respecting
engineering student would make the kinds of dumb mistakes
that are built into us.

All of our pelvises slope forward for convenient knuckle-
dragging, like all the other great apes. And the only reason
you stand erect is because of this incredible sharp bend at
the base of your spine, which is either evolution's way of
modifying something or else it's just a design that would
flunk a first-year engineering student.

Look at the teeth in your mouth. Basically, most of us have
too many teeth for the size of our mouth. Well, is this
evolution flattening a mammalian muzzle and jamming it
into a face or is it a design that couldn't count accurately
above 20?

Look at the bones in your face. They're the same as the other
mammals' but they're just squashed and contorted by jamming
the jaw into a face with your brain expanding over it, so the
potential drainage system in there is so convoluted that no
plumber would admit to having done it!

So is this evolution or is this plain stupid design?

-- You must have received some serious criticism of your
somewhat jestful theory?

Well, I got one, which I showed at the Geological Society of
America (GSA) meetings.

An envelope postmarked Minneapolis, with monkeys all over it
and inside it, with a great big blue ribbon, a note saying I
had been awarded the "Moron of the Month" award, that I was a
dork, an idiot, that only someone who thought their ancestors
were monkeys would be dumb enough to say what I had, asking me
if I wanted to debate it. It left an email address at
"darwinistsaredumb@...."

These are the kind of things you NEVER really answer, but I
couldn't resist. So I used the H.L. Menken approach:

Dear Sir,
You should be aware that some idiot is writing absolute
nonsense and signing your e-mail address to it. You should
take action on this before your reputation is further sullied!

But most of the things I've gotten have been positive.

-- If you were to redesign things, how would you make design
intelligent?

Well, for one thing I would put fewer teeth in our mouths.
I would put fewer bones in our face, so that it could drain
properly. I would straighten up the pelvis so we wouldn't
have to have that bend. I would certainly take out the
appendix so we don't have that problem and the tonsils, too.

And I did have one other. Some guy from Texas listed a number
of things with this and he said, "Actually I would write more,
but I have to go pee in Morse code, because some idiot designed
my aging prostate."

Intelligent designers and, in fact, everybody from the
creationists and so on back to the beginning of the last
century used to talk about the wonderful design of the
eye—which somehow has all your receptor cells behind a
membrane curtain!

I mean, evolutionarily all of these things make sense but
in terms of a reasonable, intelligent design? They're idiocy.
So, the argument is there is no intelligence there in a lot
of these things.

-- Some people argue that the system of evolution itself is some
sort of intelligent design. Do you have any response to that?

Again, you're dealing with the supernatural, and this is
something that's not science. Basically we operate with
questions that are answerable by evidence. Once you get into
the supernatural there is no evidence. Anything can go one
way or the other. So, I think it is just kind of nonsense to
suggest otherwise, that there is no way you can prove it one
way or another.

-- The song you wrote is wonderful.

(Here are the lyrics, sung to the tune of "The Battle
Hymn of the Republic")

My bones proclaim a story of incompetent design.
My back still hurts, my sinus clogs, my teeth just won’t align.
If I had drawn the blueprint, I would cer-tain-ly resign.
Incompetent Design!
Evo-Evo-Evo-lution! Design is but a mere illusion.
Darwin sparked our revolution. Science SHALL prevail!

-- The singers were all perfectly off-key.

Oh, they're terrible!
But I still had an audience of about 300 singing that
lustily at the end of the GSA meeting in, I would think, at
least four different keys and out of sync. Oh, it was
gloriously terrible.


The Other I.D. was written by Maggie Wittlin,
posted on November 15, 2005 06:25 PM, is in the category
Evolution & Ecology and is located at
http://www.seedmagazine.com/news/2005/11/the_other_id.php.