Hi Flore,

I'm glad that you wrote into the group and congratulations on your
pregnancy! Carolyn's thoughts are very similar to my own. Like her,
I also send many fewer emails than I used to. In fact, I will have
to keep this post short because my son just woke up and came into my
office and is sitting on my lap! :)

Like you, I also was very tired in the first trimester, but it was
followed by a relatively easy few months when I was able to study for
and take my candidacy exams--maybe you can look forward to an easier
upcoming few months as well. I hope so!

I would add to Carolyn's email that even once you have your child,
things seem to often be in a state of flux, especially when s/he is
very young. I've often found that when I finally have a good routine
down, my son gets a bit older and things change. For that reason, it
is nice for you that you'll be able to be flexible with your time for
the first few months after giving birth. Maybe you can even plan to
start a post-doc part-time at first (?).

And I would emphasize Carolyn's point that it is so hard to know how
things will be after your baby is born. Everyone has slightly
different experiences, so even reading all the experiences on this
board can only partially prepare you for your own. For example, my
son woke up about 6 times per night for a full year after he was
born, which is why I decided to emphasize sleep deprivation in my
article--it was a huge lifestyle change for me to try to work with so
little sleep.

All of these things make it very hard to plan--something that drove
me crazy at the beginning, and still does sometimes! Building as
much flexibility as you can into your first, say, 6 months with your
baby will probably make it easier on you.

I'm glad to see people writing on the board again, and I share
Carolyn's optimism that balancing family and career will continue to
become easier over the next few decades. One of my survey
respondents remarked that having part-time tenure track positions
would be key to this balance--an interesting perspective!

Sara

--- In scienceandfamilies@yahoogroups.com, "carolynkurle" <kurle@...>
wrote:
>
> Hi Flore
>
> Thanks for sharing your experience! It's amazing that you are
through
> your Ph.D. and only 26 years old - congratulations.
>
> It feels very uncertain when you are pregnant or planning to have a
> child as to how things will fall into place regarding your career
and
> work life. I assumed that things would be a certain way and found
out
> that they were totally different. For instance, I was really amazed
> and surprised at how much I wanted to be home with my son as much as
> possible especially at the beginning. I greatly underestimated the
> power of the biological pull that a child has on its mother. That
> said, I was also grateful
> to have my work because it was and continues to be a very fulfilling
> aspect of my life. Taking care of a little one is hard work and
it's
> a great "break" to be able to exercise your mind and immerse
yourself
> in science during work time.
>
> My son is 19 months old and I am currently in my post-doc. I was
> pregnant and had my son while I was still in graduate school and
> managed to do all of my last minute lab work before he was born so
> that all I had to do after he came was analyze data and write. I
was
> able to do this part-time with the aid of a great fellowship, a
> supportive husband who co-parented and also worked part-time, and,
> after my son turned 1, a great babysitter who helped us out 7
> hours/week.
>
> Now that I'm in a post-doc position, I still only come into work
> part-time (I'm at the office 25 hours/week) and my husband co-
parents
> and we now have a sitter coming in 9 hours/week. The main thing
I've
> done is become extremely efficient and I've cut out most of the
> extraneous stuff that takes up a lot of time (my email
correspondence
> is WAY down).
>
> Once your baby comes, you will see what works for you and your
> partner. I encourage you to be flexible, be willing to be open to
the
> experience, and, if it turns out to be what you need, then try hard
to
> carve out the time that you need to be fulfilled in your career.
> Having a space at home that you can escape to in order to write
really
> helps especially if you are breastfeeding. Then you can be close,
but
> still have a space to work. It's important that you set aside the
> time away from your baby so that you can really focus on the task of
> writing your dissertation. That's where the supportive partner
comes
> in (or a good babysitter). Leaving your baby with a sitter is a lot
> easier when you are just in the next room writing and can come
attend
> to things if you are needed. That may be a good way to start back
to
> working while still being close for your baby.
>
> My dissertation advisors both have small children and spouses in
> academia, so they were really supportive of me having a child. They
> worried some (I think) about me finishing on time, but ultimately,
> they really supported me working at home a lot and provided me with
> great role models of how to incorporate academia and family. I had
> trouble working during my first trimester because I was exhausted
and
> felt sick, so I worked at home and that was just fine. My current
> post-doctoral mentor is also very very supportive and expecting his
> first child in January. He is fine with me being at the office
> part-time as long as I continue to be productive. These are the
sorts
> of situations that we need to encourage and that are hopefully
> becoming the norm. Without this support, I don't think it would
have
> been possible to have a child and continue in academia.
>
> We'll see how it works as I transition into the next phase of my
> career after the post-doc.
>
> Best to you Flore in your pregnancy and in this transition away from
> being "just" a scientist to being a mom AND a scientist! It's a
> delicate balancing act, but know that there are a lot of us out here
> going through the same things. And that it IS very possible to be
> fulfilled BOTH as a mom and as a scientist. Especially as we
> encourage the continuation of supportive work environments and as we
> continue to see more and more examples of successful scientists who
> also are successful parents. I think we are very near a tipping
point
> and with women making up the majority of ecology graduate students,
it
> will just be more and more normal to see the needs of families taken
> into account in the academic career path. At least that's my
hopeful
> perspective!
>
> Best to everyone,
> Carolyn
>
> --- In scienceandfamilies@yahoogroups.com, "viard_cretat_flore"
> <viard_cretat_flore@> wrote:
> >
> > Hello everybody and especially Sara,
> >
> > I read your article in Frontiers in Ecology and Environment (and
by
> > the way discovered this group :) and found it very useful for
young
> > scientists and young mothers/fathers. When deciding to have a
baby, it
> > is extremely hard to know how you will able to continue to work
while
> > the baby will be here. Families are not always visible in the
> > workplace and colleagues tend to avoid to say that they must leave
> > their work early because of their children. Most of my colleagues
also
> > waited to have a permanent position to start to think to a
family, so
> > they had their first child around 35 years old. I am 26 years old
(so
> > will probably be the youngest mother in my lab), have finished my
PhD
> > this summer and I am pregnant (3 months). I will try to find a
post
> > doc starting 2-3 months after my baby will be born. I must say
these
> > three last months of pregnancy have been extremely hard
considering
> > my work (I am finishing my papers on my PhD). I could not at all
work
> > 8 hours a day, because I felt very tired, sick all the day and
only
> > could sleep a lot. I don't know at all how it will be when the
baby
> > will be here, but I feel it more secure since I read your opinion
(the
> > message is finally : yes, it is possible to be young scientist and
> > having children, and other parents experience it).
> >
> > Do other mothers have experienced difficulties with their work
during
> > the pregnancy? How did you manage to continue, and how was it
> > perceived by your supervisors and colleagues?
> >
> > Thanks
> >
> > Flore
> >
> >
> >
> > --- In scienceandfamilies@yahoogroups.com, "sescanga" <sescanga@>
> > wrote:
> > >
> > > Hello,
> > >
> > > I'm a Ph.D. candidate and the mother of a 2 year old. I'm
writing up
> > > my dissertation while taking care of my son at home--with help
from a
> > > babysitter 3 mornings a week. It is very inspiring to read the
> > > thoughts people have posted.
> > >
> > > I'm writing an article on the balance of career and family to
be
> > > submitted to Frontiers in Ecology and the Environment at the
end of
> > > the month. My article is based on feedback, obtained through
> > > informal conversations and a score of answers to a formal
survey,
> > > from other ecologists at all stages of career. I finished my
draft
> > > yesterday and was perusing the literature to see what others
had to
> > > say about this topic, and found Carolyn's article (2007,
Bulletin of
> > > ESA), and then joined this group.
> > >
> > > The topics that are of most interest here (and in Carolyn's
article)
> > > are those that are also of most interest to the people who
provided
> > > feedback for my article. It seems as though a lot of these
issues
> > > are pretty universal, and don't have easy answers. In
developing my
> > > article, I was encouraged to see that both men and women shared
a
> > > keen interest in the topic.
> > >
> > > Members of this group might also be interested in the articles
> > > Science has compiled on the topic:
> > >
http://sciencecareers.sciencemag.org/career_development/previous_issue
> > > s/articles/2800/scientists_as_parents_feature_index/
> > >
> > > I'm planning to cite Carolyn's article in my article in the
hopes
> > > that we can perhaps use it as a second jumping off point for
further
> > > fruitful discussions in this group.
> > >
> > > Sara
> > >
> >
>