Hi Everyone,
I'm a proud father of a two year old boy and have another boy or girl
on the way any day now, while doing my postdoc, finishing up
publishing my phd work, doing some consulting, and actively looking
for academic positions, so I've very much appreciated reading what
you all have to say. I thought I was sleep deprived before all of
this family stuff started! Compared with many of the posts I've read,
I feel pretty lucky in that my wife is a stay at home mom and keeps
things rolling along really well but I continue to struggle with
feeling like when I'm at work I should be at home and when I'm home
feeling like I need to be working, so finding the balance is an on-
going struggle. The upside is that all I used to do is work, now I
actually make more time for the good stuff and having children has
certainly reminded me of what is important in life. Work isn't my
life anymore, its something I very much enjoy and try to succeed at
but its not an obsession. Some folks at work are very understanding
of my situation but for most, the tolerance is pretty limited and
there are a lot of workaholics around that answer every email within
an hour even on weekends (and expect the same) and ask for something
friday afternoon and expect it monday morning. But the upside is I'm
now much better at cheerfully saying no and expecting reasonable
deadlines and I'm learning to not be apologetic about it. All in all,
I couldn't be happier, though if we made the days just two hours
longer that would be useful...

Best,
Ryan.

--- In scienceandfamilies@yahoogroups.com, lisa ellsworth
<lisaellsworth@...> wrote:
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>
>
> Hi all -
> I'm glad to see that this group is up and running! It's
encouraging to hear your stories and see how you all have made
furthering your careers and starting a family work for you. I
started my Phd just this past summer and had my first baby in
September. After a month of working where I could fit it in during
naps, my husband, baby, and I are trying to get a routine down that
involves me having enough time to enter this field season's data and
get a manuscript ready for submission. My son is not a good sleeper,
so when we do get him sleeping soundly, it is a tough decision
whether I'm going to sleep, eat, work, or get some exercise. Any
suggestions on how you all are balancing baby, work, and life are
helpful!
> I also am lucky to be working for a fantastic advisor who allows me
to be very flexible, and who is willing to support me hiring field
assistants to help with data collection. I know that this project
would be impossible otherwise.
> Good to hear from you all.
>
> Lisa
>
>
>
> "May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading
to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the
clouds."
> Edward Abbey (1927 - 1989)
>
>
> To: scienceandfamilies@yahoogroups.com
> From: aramakris@...
> Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2008 22:30:14 -0700
> Subject: Re: [scienceandfamilies] Re: building career and family at
the same time
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> Hi everyone,How fun to read posts about what people are
doing! I thought Sara's article was extremely well-written. One of
the problems I've had with some articles that deal with parenting and
research is that they don't always address what happens when you
happen to have a baby who needs hospitalization and/or is chronically
ill (e.g. reflux, asthma), or if you have complications during
> delivery. Sara's article covers those situations nicely.I had a
tough time with my baby, as she had milk allergies, reflux, and
asthma, rejected breastfeeding, and I had complications with delivery
and recovery. I didn't have family who could help, or the funds to
afford a nanny or babysitter, or a husband who had time to help.
Having a support group is quite essential, as is mentioned frequently
in all the articles I've read.Luckily, I was almost done collecting
data by the time she came along, and I had an undergraduate who was
able to finish my genetic analyses for me while I moved across the
country to be with my husband (who was doing an internship) and have
the baby. This was my situation 2.5 years ago, and my PhD was only
saved from destruction by an advisor who paid me a stipend for one
year during which I hardly was able to work at all. He has supported
me while I was only able to work during naptimes, with no child-care
support
> available. With an amazing advisor, I've been able to continue
writing, and though my pace is extremely slow, I'm making progress,
and things are getting much easier now that my daughter is 2.5 yrs
old and is growing out of her allergies. We're also more settled, now
that my husband has a permanent job, though it's taken us overseas.
With preschool, a little financial security, and an amazing advisor
(and supportive committee as well), I can see the light at the end of
the tunnel.
> Overall, I just wanted to reiterate the points made by other
people: try to have childcare assistance, a supportive work
environment, and be prepared to be flexible. It seems to me that many
schools are quite supportive, and even in extreme situations, you
don't have to give up either education or family, if you want
both.Cheers,Alisa
>
>
> --- In scienceandfamilies@ yahoogroups. com, "sescanga"
<sescanga@ .>
>
> wrote:
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> >
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> > Hello,
>
> >
>
> > I'm a Ph.D. candidate and the mother of a 2 year old. I'm
writing up
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> > my dissertation while taking care of my son at home--with help
from a
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> > babysitter 3 mornings a week. It is very inspiring to read the
>
> > thoughts people have posted.
>
> >
>
> > I'm writing an article on the balance of career and family to be
>
> > submitted to Frontiers in Ecology and the Environment at the end
of
>
> > the month. My article is based on feedback, obtained through
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> > informal conversations and a score of answers to a formal survey,
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> > from other ecologists at all stages of career. I finished my
draft
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> > yesterday and was perusing the literature to see what others had
to
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> > say about this topic, and found Carolyn's article (2007, Bulletin
of
>
> > ESA), and then joined this group.
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> >
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> > The topics that are of most interest here (and in Carolyn's
article)
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> > are those that are also of most interest to the people who
provided
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> > feedback for my article. It seems as though a lot of these
issues
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> > are pretty universal, and don't have easy answers. In developing
my
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> > article, I was encouraged to see that both men and women shared a
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> > keen interest in the topic.
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> >
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> > Members of this group might also be interested in the articles
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> > Science has compiled on the topic:
>
> > http://sciencecaree rs.sciencemag. org/career_ development/
previous_ issue
>
> > s/articles/2800/ scientists_ as_parents_ feature_index/
>
> >
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> > I'm planning to cite Carolyn's article in my article in the hopes
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> > that we can perhaps use it as a second jumping off point for
further
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> > fruitful discussions in this group.
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> >
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> > Sara
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> >
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