Hi Melissa,

Wow - that is quite a story. I don't have any expertise in the
matter, but using that as a reason not to hire you and telling you
that was the reason seems unethical at best and illegal at worst. It
seems especially unfair as the job you were applying for most likely
won't start until Fall 2009 when your child will be considerably older
and less dependent upon your time. Her needs at 18 months shouldn't
be considered to reflect her needs 9 months from now.

I just had the complete opposite experience with a really positive
interview at a very large, public, research university. My son is
still nursing and I also didn't want to go the entire day plus out to
dinner without giving him a chance to nurse. I asked the search
committee if my husband could bring him to campus in the mid-afternoon
for a half hour nursing break and they gave me a 45 minute break and
they made sure the dinner was early so I could get back to the hotel
at a reasonable time. They also put me in a hotel right across from
the university so my husband could easily walk over. They made every
effort to accommodate my family and me and I was extremely impressed.
There was another young mother on the search committee and that may
have helped my situation. Finally, I have been offered the position,
so I know that my nursing break was not viewed negatively. Or, if it
was, it was not enough to dissuade the committee from offering me the
job.

All that said, I was nervous about asking for the time because I
didn't want to appear "weak" or whatever the misconception of mothers
is, but I figured that if they weren't willing to give me a half hour
nursing break, then I wouldn't want to work there. Small consolation
when it seems that was the reason that you didn't get offered the job.

All I can say is that I really hope that your story is the exception
and that search committees and departments are realizing the
importance and positive impact that a candidate's happy family life
can have on their job performance. I really hope we are at a tipping
point or beyond.

I'd love to hear others' experiences with this to find out which of
our experiences was the exception.

Best and Happy New Year to all,
Carolyn


--- In scienceandfamilies@yahoogroups.com, "melissalucash"
<mslucash@...> wrote:
>
> I had a negative experience with an academic interview just last month
> and want to get advice on how to prevent this problem in the future.
>
> Knowing my interview would be about 13 hours long, I asked the search
> committee for 2 half-hour breaks to "spend time with my young
> daughter". I didn't feel like my 18 month old daughter would be okay
> without seeing me for 13 hours straight.
>
> Needless to say I didn't get the job. They told me that my desire to
> spend time with my family on my interview day indicated that I wasn't
> interested in the job.
>
> What should I do in the future? Should I forgo breaks and hope my
> daughter will be okay? Should I ask for breaks and not give a reason?
> I can't completely hide the fact that I have a family because I took
> time off after completing my Ph.D. to have my daughter.
>
> Thanks for publicizing this group in your article Sara!
>