Hello Melissa.

First, let me congratulate you for listening to your maternal instinct
and putting the well being of your daughter first!

I am sorry to hear about your bad interview experience. It is sad to
hear of such inappropriate and discriminatory behavior from faculty
members.

Obviously there is still a big need to educate or retire the "old
guard". Fortunately, those dinosaurs are being replaced by younger
faculty members whom I trust will gradually infuse the universities
with more family oriented policies.

In the mean time, the interview process seems to have worked
perfectly! Forgive me to sound glib but this department does not
sound like a good work place for someone who cares about his/her
family. In that sense, the interview process did work.

I can tell you that not all faculties are so backwards. My wife
recently interviewed for an academic position and faced no problems
when she requested a break in the afternoon to visit with our young
child.

I do hear that after your recent interview experience you feel that
the well being of your child and getting the job might be mutually
exclusive and are rethinking strategies to maximize your chances of
getting the job.

I think hiding the child will only set you up for failure if you were
to get the job in a family adverse department.

I encourage you to stand in your truth and to remember that you do not
have to be apologetic in requesting a short time off during the day to
care for your daughter. With that said, you do not have to give too
much detail about your child and why she needs you. Your parenting
style is your own and giving too much details only opens you to
criticism from people with different values. One strategy that might
alleviate undue judgment is to simply refer to your child as "my baby"
or "my infant" and request time to nurse your child. (nursing is not
limited to breast feeding. extract from dictionary.com: "to feed and
tend in infancy", "to look after carefully so as to promote growth,
development etc..."). You can also reassure the interviewers that by
the time you start your job, your child will be old enough to "...
fill in the blank...".

I wish you a wonderful and prosperous new year (which includes finding
the perfect job for you and your family!)
- Christian